The Uprising
by Swing-21
Summary: There is a revolution brewing in the Irken Empire. Zim, Dib, and their rocky relationship get entangled into it all. An epic tale of war, treason, lies, and blood on the Massive's walls. ZADR, sequel to the human Kribliss. NOW DONE.
1. The Nightmare Begins

**The Uprising**

By Swing-21 (Thanks to my sis, The Pink Terror, for helping me find a plot good enough to make a sequel.)

Summary : _The Uprising approaches. Somehow, Dib and Zim get tangled in the first revolution the Irken Empire has known. Sequel to The Human Kribliss. ZADR. Epicness._

Rating: R

Warning: EPICNESS

AN: I know it's been forever and a day, but there it is. The first chapter of the Uprising, sequel to the Human Kribliss. If you haven't read it yet, do it LIEK NAOW. Seriously. Or you won't understand a thing. Also, I don't have a beta nor do I have the time to find one and proofread this (I am a very busy girl). I did my best with language, syntax and typos, but you lot know English is kinda my third language so I mess up once in a while. I still do my best :)

AN2: I hate sequels. I never do sequels. Except for now, it seems.

* * *

**Chapter 1- The Nightmare begins**

* * *

The Massive was a ship worthy of its name. There was no bigger and deadlier ship in all the Irken Armada. If one takes into consideration that the Irken Empire was the most powerful Empire in the known Universe (and very little of the Universe was unknown to this day), and that the most powerful Empire needed the most impressive ship to lead its incredibly impressive and dangerous fleet, one could come to the conclusion that the Massive was one hell of a spaceship. Some compared it to a city that never slept, some others to a whole country. The truth was that the Massive was a planet in itself, and within its metallic innards laid the true power of the Irken Empire (most powerful of all the known Universe, which is an established fact at this point.)

Thousand of Irkens worked, played and lived in the corridors of the Massive, most of them never touching a planet's soil after their hatching day. They came in all shapes of antennas, colors of eyes and shades of green, and to the Irken Empire, details as foolish as these didn't really matter. It would be stupid to judge an individual's capacity on something as superficial as how their antennas were shaped and anyone trying to do so would be ostracized, after being heartily laughed at with pointed fingers.

Of course, every Irken and their mother (or cold unfeeling robot arm) knows that the only way to establish an efficient social order is by height. It is simple: taller Irkens got better jobs, and smaller ones would be stuck cleaning floors or doing customer service in Foodcourtia. It was based on a millennia-long tradition, coming from the dark ages when Irkens still lived on their home planet. Irk had a very strong gravity, and only the strongest individuals could grow up to stand tall above the rest. They kept the heightocraty even after they managed to conquer space and gravity could be changed with the press of a simple button.

If you've read this far, you should already know about the Tallests, leaders of the Irken Empire, and how much of a pair of jerks they can be. And because this is, in fact, a sequel, every single one of you, faithful readers, should know about their little habit of getting rid of tall Irkens, menace to their positions, by sending them in the far corners of the Universe on extremely dangerous missions.

But you already know all the events precedent to this, and how Zim and Dib got somewhat tangled into it all, as only them can manage to do so. Well, faithful readers, if you enjoyed their anguish and suffering, you'll be pleased to learn that this was only the beginning. Because the events related to Zim and Dib and how they are connected to each other are just a tiny grain of sand in the vast Universe. Somehow, that grain of sand got stuck in the well-oiled Irken machinery and provoked something far, far bigger than anything they could ever expect… Zim would take all the credit afterwards, but he has currently no idea what his actions provoked. All this will come in due time. Trust me, faithful readers, we're in for a mean ride.

So take my hand, as I lead you in the innumerable metallic corridors of the Massive, and we enter a vast lounging area. Reclining chairs and most comfortable couches were scattered in some semblance of order. Tables came when called, because they were held by puny Irkens trying to precariously balance drinks and snacks on their heads. Right now, they tried to avoid getting hit by one of the many flying cushions going through the room.

Yes, Tallest Purple was throwing a fit. He relieved stress by throwing cushions. It was better than Tallest Red, who relieved stress by throwing service drones. Out airlocks.

'Red, I can't take it anymore!' whined the Tallest for the umpteenth time that hour. 'Since that horrible broadcast, everyone is acting dodgy around us, waiting to see if we make a mistake! The Control Brains are watching us constantly! I can't even scratch my nose without them making a note of it!'

'You don't have a nose,' snapped Red.

'That's not the point! You don't get it! This morning, a janitor drone talked back to me! To ME, Red! The Tallest!'

'And now he's cleaning the insides of a flying spaghetti monster's digestive system,' growled Red with impatience. 'We took care of that, we made an example out of that impertinent. So there's no need of-'

'But REEEEE-EEEEEED!'

'ENOUGH!' shouted Red.

Purple stopped in mid-stride, his eyes opened huge and his antennas lowered. He looked like a kicked orphan puppy under the rain.

Red sighed, stood up and walked to his co-Tallest. He lightly caressed Purple's cheek with a pointy claw and muttered:

'Sorry about that. I'm just as stressed as you are, with the Big Update and all…'

To be fair to both Tallests, the Big Update was a worthy source of stress. They had acquired planet Meekrob some time ago and wanted to use their more advanced technology to replace the one they stole from the Vortians. But as it happens often when you deal with technology, and this, most humans already know, is that nothing goes as smoothly as expected. Ever.

They currently had lost all kind of contact with the home planet or any other in the Irken network. A great amount of electrical circuits inside the Massive itself completely refused the change of energy and decided to fry and be generally useless. Most of their weaponry was down and the teleporters worked only once in a while. All of the ship's population was appointed to repairs and working more than thirty-five hours a day, as opposed to the regular thirty they were used to. Regenerating goo tubes (the ones that still worked, at least) were overcrowded, and one had to wait in line for hours to get the chance to get a five minutes rejuvenating sleep. And that was when a taller Irken didn't cut the line to get in there first, as their height allowed them too. Needless to say, the Massive's population, including the Tallest, were tired, snappish and generally in a bad mood.

It would be the perfect moment to attack the ship, if one was into that sort of thing. Sadly for the ones expecting a triumphant return of the Resisty, they won't jump on that occasion for the mere fact that they were currently stuck in a deserted planet, without fuel and with a broken engine, fleeing a flock of giant carnivorous running petunias. But that is material for another story, one that I'll probably leave to your collective imaginations.

Coming back to the lounging area, Purple had resumed his cushion-throwing and extreme ranting mode. Red had gone back to his reclining chair, trying to ignore the whining. He let him go at it, making a mental note to lower his sugar intake.

'This is all Zim's fault,' he suddenly stated.

'YEAH!' shouted Purple at once. 'Let's blame Zim! I like blaming Zim!'

He stopped suddenly and narrowed a violet eye.

'…Wait,' he said. 'I know we always blame Zim, and with good reason, but I don't get your logic. Even if we stretch it a lot, he can't be responsible for the Big Update problems if he hasn't left Earth for months!'

'Think about it for a moment,' growled Red. 'All this started since he came waltzing in here to get his monkey-pet back. If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have been ridiculed on every screen of the galaxy and we'd still have some authority on this ship!'

'Oh, now I get it!' said Purple with a renewed smile. 'Yeah! Let's blame Zim!

'I just wish we could have a way to get a good juicy revenge,' grunted Red. 'Something that would hurt him good… something we could broadcast so our people see that we're not scared of him…'

'What about his pet-monkey? It was easy enough to capture the first time, and Zim would come waltzing in to save him like last time and… FORGET I SAID ANYTHING! I DON'T WANT ZIM TO COME HERE!'

'No, wait! It's a great idea!'

'…It is?'

'Yes! We capture the human, taunt Zim, prepare all the troops for his coming, capture him and make him watch as we torture and slowly kill his human! And then, when he tries to attack one of us, the other can kill him without consequences, according to the rules!'

'…How come?'

'If he attacks you, I can kill him because you're my Kribliss,' explained Red with an evil smile.

'Or vice-versa,' added Purple. 'Why would I be the one attacked?'

'It was just an example,' mumbled Red. 'So, do you like my plan?'

'I LOVE IT! I can't wait to start! Go ahead, prepare the troops! Let's go kidnap the human!'

A moment of silence passed between them, and then their smiles dropped.

'Heh, can't hurt to dream,' snickered Red.

'It would be so great…' sighed Purple with a dreamy smile.

'But impossible, sadly. We can't put a claw out of line, the ship is half-down, the troops are busy with the repairs, and we are just not ready for anything that would include Zim.'

'But it always can be postponed,' mused Purple out loud. 'I'll make a note in my pak.'

'To-do list: Make Zim cry like a little newly hatched smeet,' snickered Red.

Now that Tallest Purple had finished throwing cushions, most table drones were busy placing them back on their respective couches. Some others picked up discarded snacks and hurried outside to get some more before one of their leaders got a good case of the munchies. These coming and goings generally went unnoticed by taller Irkens, as how it should be in any good heightocracy.

The small drones who exited the room walked towards the snacking storage. They didn't notice one of them, ridiculously small, slip out and walk in an adjacent corridor, one that didn't lead to the storage area at all. The drone walked for a good ten minutes before arriving at a single anonymous door, looking like any other metallic door.

'It's me,' he whispered.

The door opened just enough to let him enter and closed immediately after. The room was barely lit, he could only distinguish the vague silhouette of a taller female standing in front of him.

'Were you followed?' she asked as a welcome.

'No,' answered the tiny drone, removing the table from his head and stretching a bit. 'I've made sure of it.'

'Then what do you got to say? You know it's dangerous, coming here!'

'Oh, I've got something good,' he smirked.

A screen came out of his pak and displayed both Tallests in their lounge. The taller female watched the scene with rapt attention, her razor sharp teeth showing in a creepy smile when she heard a sentence:

"Yes! We capture the human, taunt Zim, prepare all the troops for his coming, capture him and make him watch as we torture and slowly kill his human! And then, when he tries to attack one of us, the other can kill him without consequences, according to the rules!"

'This is good,' she snickered. 'Oh so good. We can do wonders with that.'

'I knew you would like it,' agreed the drone.

'The Almighty Smallest will find a way to use this…'

The drone flinched at that, but made no commentary beside a showing of his own teeth. Suddenly, his pak beeped and from it came the imperious voice of Tallest Purple:

'_Table-headed service-drone Bob! Get me some nachos while you're in storage and HURRY UP!'_

'Yes, my Tallest, right now, my Tallest,' said Bob through gritted teeth, before the connection went dead. He shot a nasty glare at the female.

'Be glad I accepted to go back to that humiliating work.'

'You know you're doing it for the cause. You, more than anyone else, should be happy to help.'

'Yes, I know, I know. Now see ya, I have a shipment of nachos to bring to that insufferable idiot.'

He handed her the recording chip and walked out of the room. She inserted it inside one of the monitors and watched the scene unfold once again.

'With some editing, this can become a powerful weapon…' she mused.

Tak's mad cackling reverberated in the silent room.

* * *

We now leave this shady shadowed meeting of pure foreshadowing and get transported some light-years away, to a tiny planet of blues, browns and greens, populated by the most egocentric, ignorant and self-destructive species of the galaxy. Although, they were also the creators of chocolate, so they couldn't be all that bad.

In the middle of a nameless city stood a nameless Hi Skool, full of greasy, ugly and dumb teenagers like only Hi Skools can contain. Most of them were glad to live their little superficial lives full of fashion do-s-and-don't-s, mean rumors and primitive mating rituals. But their monotony was broken, once again that morning, by shrieks and yells.

In any other educational center of the planet, sudden shrieks and yells would probably mean the appearance of a crazy shooter and most people would hide or run. But in this misspelled Hi Skool, it only got groans and many rolling of eyes.

People in the corridor moved away, not even caring enough to lift their eyes to see what the commotion was about. Unsurprisingly, a cackling green blur passed by them, followed some moments later by a black one. The teenagers soon resumed their previous activities of lipstick-debating and dork-wedgying.

But I'm sure you'd rather follow the two previously mentioned blurs.

'ZIM!' shouted the pursuer. 'HAND IT BACK!'

'NEVER! ZIM WILL NEVER GIVE IT BACK!'

Dib growled between his teeth and accelerated. He followed closely from a corridor to another, through the gym, on the cafeteria tables, in the biology classroom. Zim kept evading him at a steady pace, making sure to never completely loose the human. His mad laughing was reverberated by the dull walls, but was soon drowned by the resounding end-of-lunch bell.

'Zim, come on! You're gonna make us late again!'

'HA! Are you giving up, foolish-hyuuuuuman?' taunted the Invader, going through a door.

Dib hesitated a moment, seeing it was the girls bathroom. But the bell had already rung and there was no one else in the corridors besides them. And it was his chance of cornering Zim and getting back his backpack.

He found the alien near the end of the room, waiting for him. A couple of months ago, Dib would have concluded that Zim hadn't thought ahead and had gotten caught in a dead-end, but now he knew better. The alien wanted to get caught.

'Zim, give me my backpack,' ordered Dib in a stern voice.

'You don't scare me, puny hyuman,' snickered Zim. 'Zim will do as he pleases!'

And he opened the main zipper to peer inside. Dib's face went pale.

'Zim, I'm serious! Hand it back!'

'Not before I see what you've been hiding since this morning!' replied the Invader, going through Dib's stuff.

He pulled out a biology textbook, some notebooks covered in scribbles, a pencil case, a pair of alien sleep-cuffs, a digital camera and a laser gun, all items normally found in Dib's belongings. He hid bigger and more dangerous weapons in his locker, and got away with it because they looked like silly human toys to the Hi Skool authorities.

'Ha HA!' shouted Zim, extracting a white envelope from one of the bag's smaller pockets. Dib's face instantly got even paler, if that was possible.

'Zim,' he said in all seriousness. 'Give it back. It's mine.'

'And YOU, Dib-thing, are mine. Which makes everything you own, MINE!'

'ZIM!'

But it was too late, Zim had already opened the envelope and proceeded to read aloud.

'"_**Dear Dib…**"_ By Irk, what an atrocious handwriting, it's even girlier than yours, Dib-pet. "_**…I have to confess that I secretly loved you for years…**"_ What in the Tallest's name…? "_**…handsome, gorgeous, brave, dedicated…**" _what was she ON? "**…**_**will you go to the prom with me?**" _… WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?'

He brandished the letter at Dib's face, furiously waiting for an explanation.

'Err, I found it this morning in my locker,' admitted the teenager. 'It's from Gretchen –'

'I KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR LANGUAGE, STOOPID MONKEY!'

'Zim, you know how all the girls are going crazy about this prom thing! They ask every boy they meet so they won't have to go alone! It means nothing!'

'THEN WHY DO YOU STILL HAVE THIS LETTER WITH YOU?'

'I didn't have the time to throw it away!'

To be honest, Dib had kept the letter because, despite the fact that every single boy in Hi Skool had been asked already, no one had dared ask HIM, the paranormal freak. It was soothing, in a way, to be the object's of a girl's crush, even if nothing would come of it. But try to explain that to his furious alien lover.

'I don't know why you make such a big fuss out of this,' groaned Dib. 'I didn't complain when Keef asked _you_!'

'Because I didn't wait a second before pushing him into a locker with the biology class pet!'

He stopped ranting for a moment, recalling Keef's horrified screams with a happy smile. The biology class pet was a snake, after all. But don't worry, Keef is tougher than that, he escaped that predicament with only a couple of stitches and some weeks of therapy.

'Zim, I won't even go to the prom,' snapped Dib. 'It's superficial, and stupid, and I don't need another occasion to be ridiculed! So no need to be jealous!'

'This has NOTHING to do with jelly!' growled the Invader. 'These humans have to understand that you belong to me and NO ONE ELSE!'

'I think I got the message by now,' growled Dib. 'But don't forget that this works the other way around, too!'

Zim pressed a hand to the back of his neck, narrowing his eyes. He couldn't feel the tattoo, but knew perfectly its shape and its meaning. The black Irken symbol, with a round bar code in its center. Anyone taking the time to scan it would know that Zim was now considered Dib's Kribliss. It was a couple of weeks old, done in a moment of cavity-inducing sappiness that none recalled too fondly.

'Regretting your decision?' asked Dib in a hard voice. 'Too bad, you know these things are permanent.'

'There is nothing that forces YOU to keep with it! There is no encoding in your pak that states so!'

'I don't need a pak for that! It's something that I chose to honor! If you get stuck keeping me and protecting me till I die, I don't see why it wouldn't be the same the other way around!'

'Zim doesn't need your protection!'

'You just don't get it!' shouted Dib, pulling his hair in pure frustration.

'What is there to get? You humans constantly talk in riddles! Stop trying to confuse me!'

'I'm not trying to confuse you, idiot, I'm trying to say-'

'DON'T CALL ZIM AN IDIOT!'

'I'll call you whatever I want, fucking moron! You don't listen-'

He did see the claws coming his way, but didn't have the time to move. He snapped his head back, his cheek stinging from the blow. His furious eyes met Zim's challenging ones.

His body took immediately over. Punching back was a deep honed reflex, and soon, Zim was stepping back several feet, a satisfied smirk on his green features.

'Not bad, human.'

And then he jumped in the air, claws extended. Dib sidestepped him, caught a wrist, twisted it behind the alien's back and pressed him against the nearest wall. Zim's face hit the ceramic with a loud yell.

'Unhand me at one, smelly meat-bag!' he shouted.

'Yeah right, I know you like it,' stated Dib right above the wig. He knew the antennas were just under it. 'I know you're all turned-on by now, and that you want me to screw the lights out of you…'

Zim's shudder was hidden by a half-hearted struggle.

'Don't flatter yourself,' groaned the alien.

'I know you want it, you've wanted it all day long. That's why you kept picking fights, why you stole my backpack, that's why you're not using your spider legs right now…'

'I had to! You didn't come to my base yesterday, or the day before,' snapped Zim.

'I told you I had to study.'

'Foolishness! Soon this stoo-pid Hi Skool thing will be over and you'll be able to spend all days and night entertaining Zim like a good little human pet!'

'I am not your pet,' growled Dib. 'You are mine.'

And then, he licked the tattoo at the back of Zim's neck, to better establish his claim. Zim hid his gasp under a hiss, trying to keep the angry façade. But the more Dib kissed the back of his neck, and the more he painfully pulled his arm behind his back, the more Zim wanted nothing more than to do it right here, right now. He first had planned to bring the Dib back to his base by force, but suddenly, the girl's bathroom didn't seem that disgusting anymore.

Until, of course, a girl entered said bathroom.

'EEEEEW! GROSS!' she shouted with a revolted grimace. 'What do you think you're doing here, both of you?'

Dib lifted his head at once, to discover an horrified Zita in the entrance.

'Err… I know it doesn't seem like it, but we're actually fighting…' he said lamely.

Zim was not so forgiving. He had just lost a really good foreplay sequence.

'We were engaging in kinky sado-masochistic preliminaries of hyuman mating,' he spat. 'And you interrupted us. Now go away.'

'No way, this is my bathroom!' she shouted back. 'I don't care what you freaks do, just do it someplace else!'

To Zim's displeasure, Dib let go of his arm and walked away to pick up the discarded items of his backpack. Zim hissed in Zita's direction, not forgiving her for breaking the oh so delicious moment. She snorted and waited for them to exit before slamming the door after them. Though Zim could have sworn he heard her mutter "…would be so hotter if any of them were cute, but no, the only gay boys here HAD to be the freak show…" under her breath.

'Want to find a broom storage unit?' asked Zim with some hope. 'The janitor drone is afraid to open the door without knocking, after the last time.'

'No, I'm not in the mood for broom closets,' answered Dib with a faraway look.

'Or maybe the medical area, they do have beds.'

'I'm not staying in Skool…'

'The base! Excellent idea! Let's not go to that boring biology class and study human anatomy where we won't be bothered by anyone! I'll give GIR some monies so he can go watch a movie and leave us alone!'

'Zim, I'm going home. To my home.'

'But your sister-unit hates it when we do it in your room. I DO NOT want to be drenched in cold water in the middle of a smooching session!'

'Gaz probably didn't know it would cause you so much pain…'

'Lies! She knows! And I refuse to go to your puny hyuman house and risk another acid-bath!'

'Which is perfect, because I'm heading over there alone,' snapped Dib. 'I have to study, and if I'm about to ditch some classes, might as well get some work done.'

'What? You don't want some Zim-loving?' asked the Invader, trying to hide his dejected voice.

'Not today, Zim. I'm busy as hell, and I don't have your computer memory to store data. I want to score perfect on the finals.'

'FINE! Go do your stoo-pid STUDYING and forget about any kind of sexy Zim-loving until you don't come back CRAWLING to beg me for more!'

Dib stopped and turned around, his eyes unreadable. He watched Zim for a moment, then sighed.

'I'm sorry, Zim,' he muttered. 'But I have to go. I'm really… busy.'

Zim watched him walk away with narrowed eyes. He hated that feeling Dib could sometimes provoke, as if his squeedly-spooch was suddenly tied in a knot.

Dib managed to exit the Skool without turning around once. He hated to do that to his Invader, but things were complicated. At least he had managed to distract Zim enough so the Invader wouldn't find the _other_ letter, the one that started like this…:

"_Mister Dib Membrane, the Huston Academy is glad to announce that you've been selected to study in our Astrophysics program, starting next September…_"

* * *

Now, we leave Earth once again to travel through the endlessness of space. Somewhere near the Andromeda Galaxy, a metallic blue ship was slowly drifting among the stars. Its engines were shut off, so it was only propelled by the laws of physics. On one of its sides was a bright green inscription in Irken letters that, when translated, read "The Squeaky".

On the bridge, the only people that could be found were the tall Diplomat Blo, of blue eyes, straight antennas and solemn expression. He was dressed in long blue robes indicating his stature. He was currently engaged in something that looked like a chess game with Miik, the small pilot with eyes of even darker blue and curly antennas.

'Your turn,' muttered the female pilot after moving a piece.

Blo made his move and ended the game by doing so. Miik gritted her teeth, but lowered her head in a slow move, conceding defeat. She stood up and walked back to her piloting chair. A moment later, angry music was blaring from the speakers installed near her antennas.

The door opened and the Captain walked in with a resolute stride. She shot a rapid glance at the sulking form of Miik, then turned her red-blood eyes towards the Diplomat. Her antennas fell over her eyes like two sharp blades, indicating her bad mood.

'Any changes?' she asked in a tone that meant business.

Blo shook his head, designating the playing board and the sulking pilot. Taty joined her and placed a hand on the headrest.

'Smeetie?' she muttered in a concerned voice. 'How are you feeling?'

Miik just shrugged and kept her eyes on the starry view through the windshield. Taty placed a hand on her head, slightly brushing her antennas in a comforting manner.

'Don't worry, little one, we hope the effects will wear off in a couple of hours and you'll be back to your normal self soon. You just need to be patient.'

Miik didn't answer, lost in the stars and in the lyrics of her song. At that moment, the door swished open once again, and a table crawled in. In fact, the table was strapped to an Irken's pak, and said Irken was crawling on the floor with lowered wiggly antennas.

'Captain… can I-' asked the table in a little high-pitched voice.

'No,' resolutely cut the Captain.

'But Captain, my back is sore, I just want to stretch a little bit and-'

'I said NO!' snapped the Captain. 'Your punishment for blowing up half the lab was of stopping all experimentations altogether. But you disobeyed and insisted on trying your new sedative on Miik!'

'She was the perfect test subject! She reacted so well to the first one that I thought…'

'Look at her!' shouted the Captain, pointing the huddled pilot on the chair. 'She's not herself! She hasn't shouted at anyone for DAYS!'

'Captain, please, calm down-'

'I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!' she yelled. 'My pilot seems on the verge of taking off her own pak, by your fault might I add, and the medical area is under repairs, by your fault too! There is no way we can contact the Massive's medical experts, because all communications are down! We don't know what our next mission is and we don't know where to go because we don't have access to the database! No, I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! So you can get used to walk on all fours, because you'll remain a table until I feel like reinstating you as a scientist!'

The Captain pulled Miik to her feet and directed her through the door, sending a resentful and nasty glare towards the table. It cowered and whimpered.

After the door closed after them, the scientist lowered her head and pouted.

'How many times will I have to say sorry?' she whined in Blo's direction. 'I didn't plan for the lab to explode! My equipment was acting funny since the change of technology, and my main computer overheated! And for what happened to Miik, I wanted to prepare a calming solution so she wouldn't be so… so herself all the time! I wanted to help, I swear!'

Blo watched her for a moment, and motioned for her to stand up.

'…You mean it?' she asked in her unnaturally high voice. 'You won't tell the Captain?'

At Blo's negative, she stood slowly and stretched. All the bones of her back could be heard cracking, one by one.

'Irk, that feels good!' she moaned. 'It's been three days and I'm tired of crouching in corners and carrying drinks!'

She went to sit in front of Blo and watched the finished game of galactic chess.

'…Were you playing against Miik?' she asked. 'And she lost? And the pieces are still there instead of scattered all over the floor? By the Tallest, now I'm really feeling guilty! This isn't like Miik at all!'

Blo watched her with an interested expression, but said nothing, as usual. He let Kinn have a full go at her monologue.

'Ooooh, I'm just so stupid sometimes,' she wailed. 'Usually things don't go so wrong, but I'm just so BORED! Since we had all that trouble with the Tallest, they never send us on interesting missions because they don't want you to get hurt so you don't blackmail them, but the planets they send us to explore are only made of rocks! One had some mushrooms on it, but they weren't even poisonous! I have nothing to do! I've re-read all the Earthian magazines Dib scanned for me and now I can't communicate with Earth because of the Updating mess! I need to know how to coordinate handbags and shoes and what are this season colors!'

Blo only lifted an inquisitive antenna, probably wondering why someone would go through the trouble of coordinating such accessories, but he let her talk.

'And I can't even have access to what's left of my equipment and tools, because the Captain changed my encoding too and the door won't let me in! My pak really says I'm a table! Not even a service drone, a TABLE!' she shrieked.

Blo placed an understanding hand on her shoulder, and her hyperventilating slowed gradually. She lifted her huge orange eyes and smiled tentatively.

'Thank you, you always know what to say to make people feel better,' she said.

She then turned around and threw a look at the empty room.

'Where is Bass?' she asked. 'I haven't seen him in a while, he's usually here, taking care or Priscilla…'

Blo shrugged. To be fair to the readers, Priscilla is neither another new character, because we really don't need more of these, nor it is a pet or a plant. It was Bass' bigger and most powerful plasma gun. The thing was actually bigger than the diminutive soldier, and he doted on it like a devoted lover.

Bass –and Priscilla- were some levels down, in the soldier's small quarters, a spartan room with only a bed and some consoles on the wall. He was facing a screen and listening attentively to the pink-eyed Irken talking there.

'Do not worry, soldier Bass,' said the pink-eyed one. 'This connection is protected. We have people working on the inside that make sure that only our communications go through.'

'You're well organized,' commented the soldier.

'Heh, I know,' smiled the other one. 'It took a lot of time, but we found an impressive amount of Irkens interested to fight for the cause.'

'And you want me to join?'

'Your abilities would be a great asset.'

'I'm tempted. But we're currently drifting in the middle of nowhere and our teleporters are down. Also, our pilot is small enough to join, but she's in a precarious condition right now, and not up to piloting. We can't turn the ship around without her, and she won't act without the Captain's consent.'

'Hm… You work under Captain Taty, am I right?'

'Yeah.'

'She was among all of you during Zim's trial, if I recall correctly. She may not be totally adverse to the cause…'

'There's always a chance, I'll try to convince her.'

'Good chance, Irken Bass. Your help in the Uprising will be remembered when the new era comes.'

'Heh, I hope so. But…I just have a question,' hesitated Bass. 'I… heard things. From people. They talk about someone, a fearsome leader that would bring them freedom and equality… Are you him? Are you the one they call the Almighty Smallest?'

The other Irken scratched the back of his head, laughing in embarrassment.

'Aw, that's just a silly nickname I can't get rid of,' he said bashfully. 'No need to take out the big titles…'

'If you're him… If you're everything they say, then…'

Bass stood to full height and saluted the fat Irken respectfully.

'It will be an honor fighting for you and the cause, Invader Skoodge.'

* * *

AN: *smirk* Hand on to your antennas, people, we're in for a mean ride.


	2. Mysterious Mysteries

_AN: My thanks to all the lovely people who took the time to review and send me messages! I was wondering if this series (yeah, let's call it that) still interested some readers, I'm glad to see it is so, even after all this time. _

_Also, thanks to the ones who took the time to give constructive criticism, I know it's not always easy. I appreciate it and I know you are right about the narration, but there are already 9 chapters written and I'm too busy/lazy to rewrite it all. But! Fanfiction is a wonderful way to experiment everything you want to try and learn from your mistakes ^_^ _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Mysterious Mysteries**

* * *

We come back to Earth once again, to the home of one of the most brilliant, misunderstood and dorky human beings that ever was. Only a couple of hours had passed since the last time we'd seen him, so he was still acting a little bit strange. He was sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, hunched in a desperate pose. In his hands was clutched the acceptation letter from Huston Academy, the simple words being reread over and over again, as if he'd never get the full meaning inside his head. Of course, Dib was not stupid, he did understand what it meant, he just had a hard time grasping what it MEANT. Capitalization is important, here.

But he wouldn't have the leisure to peer at it much longer, because commanding yells and fierce grunts were coming from the first floor, announcing Zim's arrival. Dib hid the letter under his pillow at once and opened the first textbook he happened to find on the shelves.

Zim opened the door without knocking, since he had never understood that human habit. He stood a moment, hands on his hips, and watched Dib with a narrowed eye.

'…Zim?' asked Dib, feigning surprise. 'What are you doing here?'

'Zim has braved your scary sister-unit to see you, Dib-pet! You should be pleased- no, honored! To have such delicious company as Zim!'

'I told you I needed to study, I'm not in the mood to…'

Zim interrupted him by closing the door and locking it from the inside.

'I sent your sibling to my base and gave her full access to my computer videogames,' he explained with a smirk.

'But, you don't have computer games,' said Dib with a frown.

'Now I do,' sniggered Zim. 'I figured it would be a good way to invest memory space.'

He was now at the window, closing it and shutting down the blinds. Dib lit his side lamp with a frown.

'Zim, I need to study,' he repeated.

'Foolishness!' said Zim, grabbing the textbook from his lap. 'You don't need to study…' he peered at the title, 'Spanish, because it is of no use in your world! You humans should concentrate in the only language that matters!'

'There isn't only English, you know?'

'I was talking about Irken, Dib-thing,' said Zim with a condescending pat on his head. 'Soon, the Earth will be completely under Irken domination, and I will rule it like, like… like one of your kings or presidents or Hollywood actors! There won't be any limit to my power, and you, Dib-pet, will be my slave, yessss!'

Dib arched an eyebrow and scoffed.

'You seem to forget, oh almighty Invader, that first, you're not supposed to take over the Earth anymore. Second: why are you still fixated on my planet when you have the means to control your entire Empire? You can blackmail the Tallests whenever you want. And third: you made me your Kribliss, that means I'm your equal, _honey_,' he said with a sugary-sweet smile. 'What is yours is also mine.'

Zim threw the book aside and crawled on the bed, a malicious glint in his eyes. Dib tried to suppress a shiver.

'Control the Empire with you at my side?' purred the alien. 'This doesn't seem like a bad idea… Playing with my human after a long day of giving orders…'

'Don't think you'll be ordering me around too,' warned Dib with a smirk. 'You know I never listen.'

'The fight just makes it more enjoyable,' growled Zim, contact covered eyes focusing on Dib's lower lip.

Before Dib's inner voice could warn him on the precariousness of the situation, Dib's libido had killed it with a shovel and hidden the body. He didn't protest at all when Zim practically pounced on him and proceeded to kiss his brains out.

Dib's head hit the pillow. He lost his breath for a moment because of the full-grown alien's weight on him. His eyes opened suddenly when he remembered something. The letter. He couldn't let Zim see the letter. He had to stop RIGHT NOW.

With an Herculean willpower, he managed to disentangle himself from his alien lover and push his shoulders at arm-length. Zim shot him an incredulous look while he was regaining his breath.

'ZIM!' panted Dib. 'I said not today, I can't-'

But Zim practically hissed his displeasure. He grabbed Dib's wrists and pulled them apart, trying to push Dib back on the bed. The human fought back with all his strength, but they were even-matched. Old habits die-hard, Dib had the reflex of kneeling Zim in the stomach to make him stand back. The Invader got thrown at the end of the bed and crouched in a catlike manner, arching his back. When Dib saw the look in his eyes, he knew he was in deep trouble.

He had forgotten that this was the fastest and most efficient way to get Zim incredibly turned on.

The alien jumped back towards Dib with a howl of rage and pure animalism. Dib saw the claws come his way and just had a moment to get his face out of the way. They hit his chest instead, and probably cut some skin through the shirt. He tried to punch back but his fist was stopped by Zim's other hand, and twisted around in an unnatural position. Dib bit his bottom lip to stop the scream that wanted to chew its way out. He wouldn't scream for Zim. Not that early in the game, anyway.

While Dib was wide open, Zim furiously bit down his neck, enough to draw blood. Dib felt the serpentine tongue lap out the hot liquid, like soothing a wound. But the human knew better. Irkens were like carnivorous predators. If they tasted human blood once, nothing would stop them from attacking again. Like dangerous dogs, they had to be shot before it became a bad habit.

Dib tried to push him back, but his resolve was quickly diminishing. He had forgotten another important fact: him too, was incredibly turned on by their violent games. Force of habit doubled with a masochistic streak were a bad combination when came the time to say "no".

He didn't even notice Zim's other hand until it was busy trying to unbutton his jeans. He bit back a wanting moan that just came out like a pathetic whimper. Zim smirked at this and proceeded to alternatively bite, lick and kiss Dib's collarbone. The human was ready to forget all his problems and enjoy the oh-so-delicious ride, but suddenly, without any apparent reason, Zim stopped.

Dib opened his eyes and found the Invader staring him down with a furious look.

'WHAT?' exhaled the teenager with frustration. 'Why did you stop?'

'Spanish,' was Zim's hissed answer.

'What? Is there a problem with your pak? Because I could have swore you just said Spanish in the middle of one of the hottest making-out sessions we've had in-'

'You don't take Spanish this semester, human!' spat the Invader. 'This is a textbook from last year! YOU WERE LYING TO ZIM!'

Dib's eyes popped open at once, realizing his mistake. The Spanish textbook laying on the floor was indeed part of the precedent year curriculum. He gulped, seeing the furious eyes of his lover. He knew somehow this kind of rage would not get him lucky.

'Listen, Zim, I was not-'

'You've been acting unDiblike all day long! All shifty and avoidy and- and- and not wanting Zim! You're hiding something, Dib-beast!'

'What? I'm not-'

'DON'T YOU THINK I CAN'T SEE IT?' screeched Zim. 'I know when you lie, filthy worm! Your ears get red, you don't look at me in the eyes and you don't stop clutching stuff!'

Dib realized his hands were indeed clutching the bed sheets and he let them go at once, a wave of guilt painted on his face.

'Zim, I'm-'

'SILENCE! Zim doesn't want your filthy excuses, Zim wants to know WHAT YOU'RE HIDING FROM ME!'

At that point, Dib knew he had to face the facts. He never could hide anything from Zim, not for long. He let himself fall back on the pillow, and with a tired hand, extracted the crumpled letter from underneath it.

'I received it this morning,' he admitted in a dull voice. 'I wanted to wait a bit before telling you, because… yeah.'

He made no sound when Zim snatched the letter and started to read it, still straddling his stomach. When the alien was done, he didn't screech like Dib was expecting him to. He just lowered the paper and watched him with narrowed eyes. A silence passed between them.

'…Are you going to say something?' tried Dib.

'What do you want me to say?' spat Zim. 'Congratulations?'

'Why are you like that?' asked Dib, though he fully knew the answer. 'I just got accepted in the College I wanted more than anything-'

'Which happens to be all the way across this Tallest forsaken country! What were you trying to pull? Get away from Zim?'

'Now, that's unfair! We weren't even together when I sent my application!'

'But you belonged to Zim anyway!'

'No I didn't-'

'YOU DID! You belong to Zim since the day I marked you as my Kribliss!'

'Zim, if you'd just calm down for a moment-'

'ZIM WON'T!' screeched the alien. 'You wanted to leave me! You wanted to abandon the fight! You wanted to quit saving the Earth!'

'Of course I did!' yelled Dib. 'Don't you remember it was my surrender that started all this? I was ready to get away from you and to start my own life!'

'A LIFE WITHOUT ZIM!'

'A BETTER LIFE!'

Zim narrowed his eyes in anger and frustration, wanting nothing more than to squeeze his claws around Dib's neck and wait till he stopped breathing. And then, as a corpse, he wouldn't be able to escape Zim's clutches, not ever.

But he did the opposite. He suddenly stood up and growled. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to hurt Dib, not when their fights had so much innuendos in them. Not when punches and claws usually led to much pleasurable activities.

Without sparring another glance at Dib's stupid, confused, furious and unnaturally-large head, he marched out of the room and slammed all the doors that were standing on his way.

He really had to do something about his squeedly-spooch's tendency to get tangled in knots. It was very unpleasant.

* * *

We once again travel through space, to get back to the Massive. In fact, our destination is not exactly the Massive, per see. Before you accuse your humble narrator of false representation, let me explain: the biggest ship in the fleet never traveled alone. It was always surrounded by dozens of smaller vessels, ready to defend their leaders and just do their dirty job.

One of them, a small, old and overall unimpressive ship, was painted in tones of decaying pink and simply labeled "The Stain". It was big enough to contain a bridge, some personal quarters and an armory, but it generally went unnoticed compared to all the finer and deadlier spaceships gravitating around the Massive.

To be honest, Skoodge preferred it that way.

The diminutive Invader was currently sitting on the piloting chair, maneuvering delicately to enter the Massive's shipping bay. The Stain managed to navigate between other bigger ships to accomplish a miracle: find a parking spot.

The main screen flickered to life and showed the face of a busy-looking Irken. Without even glancing once at Skoodge, it asked:

'Name, rank and request?'

'Invader Skoodge,' answered proudly the little Irken. 'I came for a windshield checkup, I think I hit a small asteroid.'

The technician jerked his head up and opened his brown eyes wide.

'Oh, it's you, Almi- I mean, Invader Skoodge! I'm sorry for the inconvenience, I'll send someone right away!'

'It's all right, take your time,' said Skoodge with a smirk. 'I'm not in a hurry.'

'Yes sir!' said the small technician with a nod.

The line went dead and Skoodge laid back on his chair and yawned. Some heavy approaching footsteps woke him up from his reverie, a couple of minutes later.

'She's late,' grunted a voice.

'Of course not,' waved off Skoodge. 'You know Tak, she's always on time.'

'Yes, _her own_ time.'

'If she's delayed, there must be a good reason. But don't worry, we can stay here longer if needed to, the technicians are on our side.'

'I just don't want to arouse suspicion. It's the third time this week that the Stain "needed repairs". They're bound to notice, sometime.'

'Nobody notices the Stain. And it looks on the verge of breaking down, so it's not surprising to see it often in the maintenance deck. Just relax, Sizz-Lorr, everything is coming along fine.'

He turned around to flash a confident smile to the large Irken behind him. The fry-cook just narrowed his pink eyes and lowered his short antennas, while crossing his burly arms.

'Easy for you to say,' he grunted. 'I still can't see what makes you so sure of yourself. We still got a long way to go before the big coup. We don't even have a way to do you-know-what.'

'Oh, I trust Tak,' smiled Skoodge. 'She told me she had something good, and with her usual cynicism, it's bound to be something REALLY good.'

'Let's just hope she doesn't disappoint,' grumbled Sizz-Lorr.

A scoff was heard from the piloting area entrance.

'Just for that, I won't tell you my latest discoveries,' said Tak in a cold voice.

Skoodge turned around and smiled at her.

'Come on, Tak, you know Sizz-Lorr, he wouldn't trust the Control Brains if they claimed Irkens are green.'

'And with good reason, the Control Brains are sold to the Tallest,' growled Sizz-Lorr.

'Silence!' snapped Tak. 'We do not need to be discovered so soon!'

'Don't worry,' calmed Skoodge. 'We have the communication technicians on our side, all discussions inside the Stain are completely safe.'

'Just get out of the Massive, I don't want to linger too long,' she snapped.

'Yes, my lady,' said Skoodge with a salute.

Soon enough, the Stain was back in orbit around the Massive. Tak was looking through the windshield, arms crossed and a satisfied smirk on her face.

'You're gonna be pleased,' she started. 'I managed to join several of our contacts. We got the entire janitorial squad on our side, the service drones and all the technicians smaller that a hundred ligas.'

'They confirmed?' asked Skoodge.

'All of them. Our numbers just increased by at least another hundred.'

'Good,' smiled Skoodge.

'I received messages from some of our contacts earlier this morning,' said Sizz-Lorr with a smirk. 'We got most of the service drones and janitors working on Vort, along with the prisoners. We also got the screw-head on our side, even if they won't help much, they'll keep the soldiers busy. Foodcourtia is already completely independent, so they won't join us, but they won't hinder us as long as it doesn't hurt the business.'

'Any news from the other places?'

'Forget Judgmentia, all the big shots are over there,' snorted Tak. 'Callnowia's drones might help us, but they're just a bunch on button-pushers.'

'Every single ally counts, dear Tak,' corrected Skoodge with a smile. 'We will need those button-pushers when the new era comes.'

'This is nice, but we still need a way to take control of the Massive,' noted Sizz-Lorr. 'If we manage to overthrow the Tallest, the rest of the Empire will fall soon after.'

'You told me you had an idea, Skoodge,' said Tak with a frown. 'Do tell, please.'

Skoodge joined his hands in glee.

'Yes! I found the way, or at least, the one Irken that was ever able to take control of the Massive!'

A moment of silence passed between them, until…

'NO,' said Tak and Sizz-Lorr simultaneously.

'Guys, just listen to me. I know Zim caused some damage in the past…'

Tak's derisive laughter was joined by Sizz-Lorr's growl.

'Skoodge, you can't be serious?' asked Tak. 'Zim is a liability. If we add him to the equation, we're all doomed.'

'We'd be safer if he was on our enemies' side,' noted Sizz-Lorr.

'Just think about it!' said Skoodge. 'The Massive is the biggest, baddest and meanest ship of our fleet. No one has ever managed to take control of it. No one… except Zim.'

Tak and Sizz-Lorr exchanged displeased glances, both of them knowing full well that they didn't have another choice. Having the means to control the Massive would be a sure win for the cause.

'And how do you expect to get that information?' asked Sizz-Lorr. 'Zim won't cooperate. I know him.'

'We all know him,' corrected Tak with a grimace. 'He won't accept to do anything that goes against the Tallest. He's way too loyal.'

'Even after what they did to him and to his Kribliss?' asked Skoodge with a raised antenna.

'Even there. You saw the trial too, he had the ways to shoot both Tallest and take their place, but he decided to play nice instead.'

'He did blackmail them,' reasoned Skoodge. 'And we have to be thankful that he didn't get to rule the Irken Empire…'

'Heh, that'd have ensured that every single Irken would have been part of the Uprising,' snickered Sizz-Lorr. 'Would be easier that way.'

'Now, guys, don't be too mean with old Zim,' said Skoodge, trying to placate them. 'He does have an incredible talent for destruction, but we could use this to our advantage.'

'How do you plan to convince him?' asked Tak, thoughtful.

'We just go over there and ask,' shrugged Skoodge. 'As simple as that.'

'He won't cooperate,' warned Sizz-Lorr once again. 'I say we just kidnap him, I know where his learning place is.'

'Don't you know anything about humans?' said Tak with exasperation. 'They change training facilities every couple of years. No, allow me, I have a much better experience with the locals, and I know where he lives.'

'Are you sure, Tak?' asked Skoodge with worry-filled eyes. 'I want Zim to join us willingly, not to be forced…'

'I can't force Zim to do what he doesn't want to,' she said with an innocent smile. 'But I'll manage to… convince him.'

Both males knew she had a plan up her sleeve, but none commented. Tak's ways were better left alone.

'Then, go to Earth,' said Skoodge with a resigned sigh. 'Just don't forget: every single Irken in the Uprising has to join willingly.'

'Of course, my Almighty Smallest,' she said with a mock salute.

She walked away to her own spittle runner, parked in the docking area of the Stain.

'I'm not too sure about all this,' mumbled Skoodge.

'She'll get things done,' grunted Sizz-Lorr. 'That's all that matters.'

Skoodge shrugged and threw a glance through the windshield, watching the purple spittle runner fly away, direction Earth. He just couldn't shake a feeling of impending doom. Maybe it was because Zim was now included in the Uprising.

'May Irk help us all,' muttered the small Invader.

* * *

Let's travel once again through space, and go back to the stalled explorer ship, the Squeaky. Little mercenary Bass was busy looking for Captain Taty. Only Diplomat Blo was on the bridge, and he redirected him to the snacking area. But there, he found only Miik, slurping on a soda, playing a handheld videogame with some of her recovered anger, her feet propped on the nearest table, which happened to be Kinn.

The table mentioned something having to do with the circuitry, so there he was, crouching under cables in the main innards of the ship, or as they liked to call it: the can of worms. He found Taty crouching under an electronic device, tinkering with its insides.

'Captain?' he asked in a resolute voice.

'Oh, Bass, exactly the Irken I was hoping to see,' came the muffled voice of Taty from inside the console. 'Give me a claw, please?'

He joined her and peered under the computer, seeing millions of electric wires all going in different directions. Taty's pak legs were all spread out, connecting, fusing, cutting and lighting the scene.

'You see that little pink wire over there?' she asked. 'We need to replace it because it's fried. But the operation is too delicate for pak legs, and I can't reach that far.'

'I'm on it, Captain!' he said with a salute.

He crawled way further that she could ever hope to reach, and repaired the console in a matter of minutes. When they managed to extricate themselves from the cables, Taty gave him a tired smile.

'Thank you, Bass. Now, how about you tell me what you came to say?'

Bass smirked.

'It's a little bit delicate, and I don't want it to fall in the wrong antennas,' he admitted.

'Oh? Sounds interesting.'

'You bet it is,' he grinned. 'I've heard from… someone, never mind their name, that things are moving in the Empire.'

'Let me guess, a revolution?' she smirked.

'How did you know?' asked the soldier, astonished.

'Now I do,' she said, crossing her arms and giving him an intense red gaze.

Bass damned himself for his mistake, but continued nonetheless.

'Yeah, things are moving. People are talking. Something huge is coming our way.'

'Just tell me what it is about.'

'It's the Uprising, my Captain. The overthrowing of the heightocraty. The downfall of the Tallest.'

Taty opened her eyes, impressed.

'I figured something like that was bound to happen, sooner or later,' she admitted with reverence. 'After the last image the Tallest left on the Irken's minds, their authority would only last so long.'

'There is a leader, the one they call the Almighty Smallest,' said Bass with respect. 'He's the instigator of all this. He has people in every layer of the society. Irk, he has connections everywhere.'

'And how do you happen to know all this?' she asked with raised antenna. 'I doubt it came with the last data entry of "Soldiers and Plasma Guns".'

'The Almighty Smallest contacted me himself, Captain.'

'Oh, did he? Even with our communications offline?' she asked with a raised antenna.

'I told you, he has people everywhere,' he smirked.

Taty crossed her arms and leaned on a nearby console, watching her soldier with an intense gaze.

'And who this "Almighty Smallest" might be?' she asked.

'Not telling until you join the cause, my Captain,' said Bass with a smirk. He knew it was a sure thing, but he still didn't want to compromise the Uprising.

'I'm still thinking. What do they fight for?'

'Equality. Equal chance for every Irken that is hatched, not decided by their height.'

Taty seemed to think for a moment, before nodding once.

'I'm in.'

'That fast? But you don't even know about their plan!'

'You neither, am I correct?' she smiled.

'Got me there, Captain,' he snickered. 'But you gotta admit it's a nice cause.'

'One worth getting executed for.'

She got up and walked to the exit, closely followed by the soldier.

'I don't know for the other members of the crew, to be honest. We never had much use for the heightocraty, here, so maybe they don't feel concerned by such matters. I'll still give them the chance to decide for themselves.'

'And that's why I told Skoodge you'd be in,' smirked Bass.

'Skoodge?' said Taty with a smile. 'That doesn't surprise me that much. The poor Invader never got the recognition he deserved for conquering Blorch.'

'I'm glad we got an Invader on our side,' admitted the small Irken.

'Not any Invader, Bass. The best there is.'

They found the rest of the crew, reunited them on the bridge and told them about the changes to come in their world. A silence was the only answer they got after the news. Miik was the first to break it by a heavy sigh.

'Damn it,' she said while crossing her arms. 'I don't like this.'

'Oh?' said Taty by a raise of her antennas. 'I thought you'd love the idea of a revolution.'

'Yeah, and since you're small too, it does concern you!' added Bass with a touch of frustration.

'It's not that,' she said in a monotone. 'I don't like the fact that the only revolution the Empire has ever known has to happen when I just don't give a damn about it. Usually, I'd be ready to join like that.'

'Let's just hope your condition improves before the Uprising,' said Taty with a gentle smile. 'I'm sure you'll be in top shape to yell and dismember as much as you want.'

The ghost of a smile lighted Miik's face for a moment.

'Then I'm in.'

Bass immediately turned to his old friend Blo.

'What d'you say? I know you have a great job, being tall and all that, but you always treated me decently. The new era could use guys like you.'

Blo didn't have to think too long before nodding his assent. But before they could celebrate their victory, a whimper came from the nearby table.

'You also have the right to choose, Kinn,' said the Captain with a neutral voice. 'This is bigger that your punishment.'

'…can I stand up?'

'For this time.'

Kinn jumped to her feet, eyes wide with panic.

'My Captain, you can't seriously think about joining that? It's going to be a bloodshed! A massacre! The Massive's walls are going to be painted pink with the deaths and corpses! Everyone's gonna DIE! I DON'T WANNA DIE! DO YOU WANNA DIE? BECAUSE I DON'T! REALLY!'

She stopped to breathe, and Blo gave her an understanding tap in the back.

'I know there are some risks…' started the Captain.

'Last time you said that, it was when we agreed to help Zim retrieve Dib and we almost died by deactivation!'

'…You weren't even there,' commented Bass with a narrowed brown eye. 'You were still on Earth during the trial.'

'But Dib was there with a hologram that looked like me and it was as if I was there! Same thing! Deactivated Kinn!' she reasoned without much logic.

The others exchanged a confused glance and agreed not to comment on it.

'I can understand that you don't like the cause…'

'It's not that!' she whimpered. 'When did I say that? I love the cause, the cause is awesome! I mean, I'm a scientist only because you chose me as a member of your crew, my Captain, because I was too small to be hired anywhere else! So yes, I think little people should be allowed to do better things than being janitors and stuff!'

'So what seems to be the problem?'

'I STILL DON'T WANT TO DIE!' she shrieked.

Taty took a moment to breathe.

'All right. We'll find you something to help from the sidelines, how is that?'

'You would really do that? For me?' asked the scientist with emotion.

'Yes. Even if you're disobeying, annoying and prone to accidents, you're still part of my crew,' stated Taty in a resolute voice.

'Thank you my Captain!' she squealed. 'I won't fail you, I promise!'

'We'll see about that. Now, is everyone all right with this?'

Nods, grins and scared whimpers answered her.

'Perfect. Now, Miik, let's turn this ship around and head for the Massive. There is an Uprising that could use some more help.'

* * *

AN: Ah, Kinn, she's so much fun to write. Just keep in mind that her outburst are _insanely _high-pitched. Also, remind me to never write a story with that many Irkens. It only gets worse after this...


	3. Dibship Rising

_I just realized I haven't put a disclaimer in my firsts two chaps. Well, here it is: If Invader Zim was mine it'd still be running. So, not mine. Jhonen's. _

_Thanks to all the lovely reviewers that made my days lately! I love you guys!_

_I dedicate this chapter to three people. Cadavercarnivorum, for cosplaying Dib from the Human Kribliss, with scars and tatoo and all 3; MissMe1, for all her support-support-support; and Keef's-my-gay-hero because she's back in the fandom and she's just generally awesome._

_In this chapter, Dib faces his inner child. Inner child is NOT happy._

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Dibship rising**

* * *

If anyone dared to imply that Zim was sulking, he would have impaled them with his spider legs before they finished the sentence. But to be honest, Zim was doing the full pouty-liped, guilt-inducing, you're-sleeping-on-the-couch thing. Dib had tried to talk to him for the past couple of days, only to be faced with icy stares and silent fury, which was a good indicator of the extend of Zim's anger. Anything less would have made the Invader curse, yell, point and scream, but silence was worse. Zim was never silent.

Not happy with ignoring him in Hi Skool, Zim also gave him the cold shoulder after classes. When Dib had tried to just walk to his house and ring, he found the gnomes activated and trigger-happy. Of course, he tried to infiltrate the base by offering GIR edible goodies (donuts, Suck Monkeys™, filled ashtrays), but it only got him thrown out on the pavement and GIR chucked at his head.

So Dib, in his wounded pride and resentment, had decided to keep what was left of his dignity and drew the line at buying flowers and chocolate. Zim would have appreciated the latter, but the former was a one-way ticket to castration. The Irken never quite got the flower tradition, after all these years.

The teenager decided to do the only remaining thing that was left to do: stay home and sulk. Of course, if anyone dared to mention that Dib was sulking, that would have earned them a mean glare and a lengthy explanation on how he was absolutely NOT sulking, just doing a strategic retreat to find a better approach to the problem.

GIR kept him company after being thrown out, having developed a fondness for stating how incredibly huge Dib's head was. Gaz tolerated him in the house because it amused her, and Dib couldn't get rid of him no matter how much he tried.

Saturday evening found the teenager and the robot sprawled on Dib's bed, watching some obscure gore movie on Dib's computer screen.

'I love that show,' commented GIR from his position on a pillow, in his doggy-suit but curled like a cat.

'Look, that's the best part,' said Dib, pointing to the screen. 'She gets her head severed off, but the axe is dull and the killer has to try several times before completely beheading her.'

He sighed upon hearing the blood-curling screams.

'Zim used to love that part,' he mumbled.

'Mastah likes waffles too,' suggested GIR, trying to be helpful.

'Yeah, but I don't see myself heading out to his base with a plate of syrup-covered waffles,' shrugged Dib.

He was so desperate for ideas, company and attention that talking to GIR didn't seem that odd anymore. Or at least, while the little robot was acting normal, or the closest thing that could be considered normal for the SIR unit.

When the victim's screams stopped for cause of severed vocal chords, the renewed silence gave Dib the chance to hear a loud commotion coming from inside the house. He sat up, his body immediately going into alert mode. He ran out of the room, GIR following closely behind and laughing like a maniac. When he reached the top of the stairs, he was confronted with Gaz' furious glare from the first floor.

'I was at the last level, fighting the last boss,' she growled, 'and I got distracted by the noise! It comes from the garage, so it mush be your stupid alien ship!'

Dib lifted an eyebrow, noting the fact that the ship was only his when it was malfunctioning. He exited the house and opened the garage door, ignoring GIR's rendering of "It's a small world after all".

The ship formally known as "Tak's ship" was currently destroying the entire garage. The long electric wires protruding from its back smacked the shelves. GIR jumped and latched onto one of them, screaming in delight. Dig grunted and tried to fight his way through the jungle of wires, getting hit, stung and electrocuted on several occasions. He managed to reach the cockpit, open the hatch, jump inside and close it. He noticed GIR had found the time to jump in during the second the hatch had been opened, and was now happily smacking all the buttons, laughing hysterically.

Dib took out a set of keys from his jeans pockets and made them jingle above the robot's head. Instantly distracted, GIR started to play with the keys like an freaky kitty. Dib pushed him aside and started working on the console, frustrated that nothing seemed to respond. Something he pressed must have worked, because the ship suddenly calmed down and went numb.

'What was that?' he wondered aloud.

'Probably your own incompetence,' grunted Gaz from the garage door. 'That thing never worked properly.'

'It was probably Tak's fault, she built it,' grumbled Dib, still trying to find the error.

The main screen flickered to life, displaying Tak's angry face.

'You're not as bright as I remembered, Dib,' she spat.

'TAK?'

'Long time no see, human,' she smirked.

'Hey, is that your alien ex-girlfriend?' asked Gaz from the other side of the glass.

'We never dated!' exclaimed Dib. 'We were in fourth grade! It meant nothing at all!'

'Aw, Dib, you just hurt my feelings,' snickered Tak. 'Insulting me is not the best course of action right now.'

'And why's that?' he asked with a suspicious frown.

'Because you're my prisoner,' she smirked.

'Wha-'

Dib felt the engines power up and the ship start to hover. Gaz took a couple of paces back, her face scrunched in a displeased grimace. He opened his mouth to ask for her help, but was taken aback from the sudden acceleration. The ship flew through the open garage door and rapidly gained altitude. Seconds later, it escaped the Earth's atmosphere.

'Tak, what do you think you're doing?' he yelled at the screen.

'Do not worry, little Dib,' she said in a condescending manner.

'Are you trying to get back at Zim? Or at me?'

'Hm… appealing concept, but no. I'm not here for revenge. Your use has far greater ramifications than you could ever imagine.'

'What ramifications? What are you trying to pull?'

'Things of this caliber don't concern silly humans,' she scoffed. 'You don't need to know everything, Dib. So just sit back and enjoy the view, this little trip might take a while.'

'Tell me where this thing is going!'

'Why, I'm taking you to the Massive,' she snickered.

Dib's eyes popped open at once.

'You can't be serious? They hate me, there! I'm gonna get killed!'

'Stop fretting, you're more useful to us alive,' she sneered. 'Your safety is guaranteed.'

'I still don't understand…'

'And that's not my problem,' she snapped. 'Just stop asking useless questions. I'll cut this now before you drive me crazy. Don't try to change the coordinates, the commands are locked until we reach our destination.'

And the line went dead, just like that, leaving Dib alone in a tiny spaceship, faced with an infinite number of stars.

* * *

Tak sat back in the piloting chair of her spittle runner, watching her own ship fly by, with Dib securely trapped inside. It was rapidly leaving the Earth. She was ready to follow, but she had to make a very important call, first.

She was about to initiate the contacting sequence when her communicator beeped. She opened the line, sure it was someone from her own side, probably Skoodge, wanting to check in on her. Her antennas lifted in surprise when she saw a female human glaring at her. She instantly recognized the face and the hair, but was surprised at how tall and meaner looking the little girl had become.

'You're Dib's sister-unit,' realized Tak with some respect. She remembered the girl to be a fierce warrior, passing years would only make her stronger.

'And you're that Irken psycho bitch,' retorted Gaz with a snort.

'How did you get a hold of this frequency?' asked the alien with a frown. 'All Irken communications are supposed to be down!'

'I'm using my brother's computer, it's running on Irken operating system XB56,' she grunted.

'That archaic thing? It's been years since we used that! No self-respecting computer would run on something that slow and random!'

'All his alien-tech was copied or stolen from Zim's base.'

'Then I'm not surprised,' snorted Tak. 'Zim was provided the worst equipment available and not updated since.'

'Even though chatting with you is nice and all,' said Gaz with a very sarcastic expression, 'I'd like to know what you are kidnapping my brother for, just in case I need to record tonight's movie in order to go and save his sorry ass.'

'Don't worry about your sibling unit,' said Tak with a wave of her hand. 'We are only using him in order to force Zim to do our bidding. He won't get hurt.'

'And is Zim going to be killed or something stupid like that?' asked the human with a deeper frown. 'I know my brother, he'd be dumb enough to go and rescue him or something.'

'Hm… Nobody can predict Zim's random acting patterns,' grunted Tak. 'But explosions are probably going to be involved in the equation.'

'Like I care. Just make sure my brother comes back alive and not too whiny about his dead alien play thing.'

'It is not my responsibility to-'

'And I say it is,' grunted Gaz. 'You mess with my family, and I'll come to the far end of the universe to get your sorry green ass, bug-face.'

Tak looked affronted for a moment, but had to admit that the human had galls.

'I promise nothing,' she scoffed.

Gaz grunted one last time and closed the connection.

It left Tak a little bit miffed and a little bit less sure of herself. But she still had the most important part of her job to do. She contacted Zim's frequency and waited. Waited. Waited some more. After a whole ten minutes of silence, she tried again, this time using the emergency frequency. Zim's computer wouldn't let him ignore that call.

Thirty seconds passed and the screen came to life, showing a furious Invader.

'DIB, I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL! NEXT TIME I'LL-'

He stopped short and hissed, recognizing Tak's face.

'YOU!' he spat. 'What do you want?'

'Having human trouble, Zim?' she snickered. 'Your Kribliss giving you a hard time?'

'This is none of your business! What are you calling me for?'

'Just to tell you, I don't want any kind of reven-'

'If you're here for revenge just go away! I'm not in the mood for that!'

'I'M NOT HERE FOR REVENGE!' screeched Tak. 'WHY WON'T ANYONE GET THAT?'

'Is this about the Earth again? Because you know the Tallest marked it as mine-'

'No! It's not about any of that! It's about your human!'

'What about him?' asked Zim with narrowed eyes.

'I think he's in danger, Zim,' said Tak with the most convincing honesty she could fake.

'Of course he is, he was planning to move away from Zim! If he does that I'll find him and strangle him and-'

'No! Not from you!' she snapped. 'From the Tallest!'

That seemed to catch Zim's attention at once. His antennas straightened above his head and his eyes narrowed to slits.

'Tell Zim,' he ordered.

'They're planning to capture your human and broadcast his execution to prove they're not afraid of you.'

'And why would you come and tell me?' asked Zim with suspicion. 'You hate Zim!'

'With good reason,' she muttered. 'But I do like Dib, and I don't want to see him hurt.'

'Are you trying to steal Zim's Kribliss?' he asked in a venomous tone.

'This isn't the time for drama!' she snapped. 'Your human is in danger and you got to save him!'

'Zim doesn't believe you,' he growled.

'I've got proof.'

She sent him the footage taken by table-headed service-drone Bob in the Tallest's lounge.

_"Yes! We capture the human, taunt Zim, prepare all the troops for his coming, capture him and make him watch as we torture and slowly kill his human! And then, when he tries to attack one of us, the other can kill him without consequences, according to the rules!"_

Zim's eyes went wide, a low growl coming from his throat.

'If they dare touch a single gravity-defying hair from his monstrously large head, I'll-'

'Maybe you'd better check on your human,' she cut in. 'Just to make sure.'

'Zim doesn't take orders from you!'

'Or maybe I can go to his house and see him, it has been a while…' she trailed off.

'Do that and suffer Zim's wrath,' he growled. 'I'll check his position.'

He started to press some buttons on a nearby console, Tak lifting a suspicious antenna.

'You got him _chipped_?' she wondered with a snort.

'The damn thing gets stolen continuously,' growled Zim. 'Without a pak, it's the only way to know his position at all times.'

He got a result on his screen and swore loudly in Irken.

'That's not a pretty mental image,' added cynically Tak.

'He's not on the planet!' exclaimed Zim, pulling at his own antennas. 'They already took him! He's near the Damogran system already! He's traveling way too fast for my ship to catch with him!'

'Damogran system, you say? He's heading towards the Massive, then.'

An inhuman yell was heard through the connection, forcing Tak to cover her antennas and wince.

'Calm down, will you?' she snapped. 'There's always a way to get him out!'

'HOW? It's the Massive! The last time, we barely got out of there alive!'

'Zim, SHUT UP AND THINK FOR A MOMENT!' she shouted. 'You're the only Irken that was ever able to take control of the Massive! You have information no one else is privy to! USE YOUR PAK TO THINK, FOR ONCE!'

Zim stopped mid-howl and smiled maniacally.

'This is true,' he realized. 'Zim knows things… he knows how… or at least, who to contact…'

'So, what's the plan? Maybe I can help?' she offered innocently.

'And collect all the glory? No way!' he spat. 'Zim alone will rescue his Dib-thing!'

'I'm not trying to steal your pet,' she repeated with an exasperated tone. 'But I also have contacts that can help you. Where are you heading?'

'Vort,' said Zim with a confident smile.

'The prison?' she asked. 'Why would you-'

'Do not question ZIM! Just tell me if you can be useful!'

'I know people in Vort,' she smirked confidently. 'Just trust me.'

'Zim would be stupid to trust you,' he scowled.

The connection went dead. A few moments later, Tak saw Zim's Voot runner quit the Earth's atmosphere and head towards the Vortian planet, not detecting her camouflaged ship.

'Stupid indeed,' she cackled, before directing her ship back to the Massive.

* * *

'…it's a world of laughter, a world of tears, it's a world of hopes, and a world of fears, there's so much that we share, that it's time we're aware, it's a small world after aaaaaaall! It's a small world after all, it's a smaaaall world after aaaaaaall, it's a smaaaaaaaaaaa…'

'GIR, I'm begging you…' whimpered Dib in a little broken voice, curled in the piloting chair. 'Please, no more singing…'

'WORLD AFTER AAAAAAAALL…'

'I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!' he yelled, tears forming in his eyes. 'Why isn't there ANYTHING sharp when I need to gouge my brain out?'

'You know, you could also bribe him with food,' said a calm and youngish new voice. 'It usually works.'

'I've got nothing on me right now,' whined Dib, clutching his hair in despair. 'I should have –'

He then realized that the new voice hadn't come from GIR or the communicator. It was coming from the ship itself.

'Who- what are you?' asked Dib, dreading the answer.

'I'm Dib!' answered the voice with determination. 'Paranormal investigator and the Earth's only hope against the alien menace!'

Dib's eyebrows shot up. He forgot all about GIR's frantic singing.

'You're… Dib?' he asked in a nervous voice.

'Weren't you listening, just now?' it asked in an exasperated tone.

'No, I mean- I thought your circuits had erased that personality download! I didn't know you were still inside the ship! Or, part of the ship, I should say!'

'What are you saying?' it asked with impatience. 'And who are you? I don't know you!'

'Err… I'm Dib,' answered slowly the teenager.

'No, you're not! I am Dib!'

Dib –the one made of flesh and mostly head- sighed and prayed for some patience. He was suddenly remembered on how annoying the personality he had downloaded into the ship could be.

'How old are you?' he asked loud enough to be heard through GIR's screeching.

'I'm eleven,' answered the ship with a suspicious tone. 'Why would you want to know that? What use is it to you?'

'Eleven…' muttered the real Dib to himself. 'Man, I've been doing this for far too long…'

'What? Doing what? And you never told me who you are!'

'I am… you,' said simply Dib. 'An older you.'

'What- what is the meaning of this? You try to trick me! I'm sure this is one of Zim's nefarious plots to get rid of me and take over the Earth! But it won't happen, because I'll stop him at every turn!'

'No, this is not one of Zim's tricks,' said patiently the teenager, because he would have been suspicious too, until a couple of months ago. 'Zim isn't even aware of what's happening or where I am right now,' he grunted. 'It'll take him forever to even notice I'm gone.'

'…I don't follow you,' said the ship with hesitation.

'He's sulking,' grunted the teenager. 'It's been days and he still gives me the silent treatment. It wasn't even my fault! I mean, how could I have known it would upset him that much? I wanted to talk to him about the letter, and Huston, and having to move away, but he never gave me the time to explain myself!'

The ship stayed silent, while GIR shouted the song even louder and louder. A couple of lights started to blink, while the ship processed the information. But teenager Dib was not aware of that, too caught up in his little rant.

'One thing was to get into a jealous fit about that prom invitation, but I was expecting it from him, he's a possessive little bastard! As if he wasn't any better! I swear, I was ready to punch Keef in the face for even proposing such a stupid thing!'

The ship began to gently hum, as if all its circuits were busy thinking. It kept listening, analyzing, making connections…

'…A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL, IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER AAAAAAALL…'

'-and he finds it necessary to yell at me every time Kinn calls, as if there was anything between the two of us! Come on! Give me some credit, I can do so much better than that! And he hisses at Gretchen every time she walks by us, I mean, what kind of normal person HISSES?'

'…THERE IS JUST ONE MOON AND A GOLDEN SUN, AND A SMILE MEANS FRIENDSHIP TO EVERYONE…'

'Vocal signature corresponds…' muttered the ship to itself. 'Behavioral patterns too… Scanning biochemistry… Hey, I didn't know I could do that! Okay, maybe he was right and I AM a ship… But that doesn't mean…'

'…THE MOUNTAINS ARE WIDE AND THE OCEANS DIVIIIIIIIDE…'

'-he just makes a big drama out of EVERYTHING! Last time I took the last soda in the fridge, he jumped on the table and ranted at me for a full half-hour! What kind of sane person does that? Oh yeah, I forgot he's not sane at all!'

'Retinal scan and biochemistry analysis show that the specimen is indeed an older me, the original if I can say so,' continued the ship out loud. 'Cool, I get to look less geeky than I was! Nice trench coat. Maybe I get luckier with the girls…'

'IT'S-A-SMALL-WORLD-AFTER-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!'

'-if he gives me ONE MORE HICKEY, I'll scream! I know he's all into this kinky Irken foreplay, but on my planet, we call that abuse! It would be nice, FOR ONCE, to have sex without any kind of internal or external bleeding! These scars are so hard to hi-'

They say that, in space, no one can hear you scream. It is a scientific fact, because lack of air means lack of sound. But at that precise moment, the scream that came from the ship's console was so loud, so horrified and so powerful that it managed to get through GIR's singing, Dib's ranting and the laws of physics, time and space. Everyone, in every corner of the universe, on every plane of existence and moment in time, may it be past, present or future, heard it. They still shiver in fear, thinking of the unnamable horror that could provoke such a scream.

It even managed to get GIR to shut up.

When the ship finally calmed down, it was to find a shaking Dib holding both hands on his ears and wincing from the pain. He had received the full blast of it.

The teenager slowly removed his hands. Some hyperventilating could be heard, coming from the console, which was ridiculous because ships don't breathe.

'Huh… you okay?' wondered Dib.

'What- what- WHAT THE HELL?' shrieked the ship. 'Tell me you didn't just said that I- you – Zim- and- TELL ME IT WAS A JOKE!'

Dib's eyes popped open.

'Shit, I shouldn't have said that aloud,' he muttered. 'Erm… It's not-'

'I FORBID you to say it! Don't say it!'

'It is not a joke,' sighed Dib. 'Zim and I are together.'

'I THOUGHT I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY IT! Now I'll never be able to erase this from my memory drives!'

'Come on, stop overreacting,' snapped Dib. 'I know it may sound weird at first-'

'That's the biggest understatement in the history of understatements!'

'-but you'll have to get used to it. Zim and I are… an item. I wouldn't know how to call us, or even if there is a word for that… It's just easier to say that I'm his Kribliss, and he is mine.'

The ship did a quick scan of his database, now that he knew he could do it, and came back with the Irken definition. His tone was skeptic.

'Kribliss?' he mused aloud. '"Back off, mine." To love and to kill. Are you sure it's not the killing part that motivates him?'

'At first, yeah,' admitted Dib. 'But things… changed, recently.'

'Do I want to know?' grunted the ship in a suspicious tone.

'Don't worry, I'll keep the physical details to myself,' snickered the teenager. 'They happened only later, anyway.'

'Pleeeeeeeeeease!' it whined.

'Alright, alright. Let's just say that since he wasn't trying to Invade the Earth anymore, we managed to establish a truce. Then some shit happened, and I got abducted to the Massive, which is starting to become a habit I'd like to get rid of, by the way, and… Let's just say Zim pulled a lot of strings, manipulated a lot of people, risked everything he had, even his life, on several occasions, to get me back.'

'…It could mean a lot of things,' insisted the ship. 'He just wanted to be the one to kill-'

'When he thought I was dead, he went completely crazy,' muttered Dib. 'Reduced his opponent to the state of mashed potatoes. And then, he tried to go after the Tallests.'

The ship stayed silent, unable to refute that. Dib took it as a chance to continue.

'I don't really care what you think,' he admitted. 'Every single being in this universe will tell me it's wrong, but I don't care. They've been telling me I'm wrong all my life'

'…Do you… Err… You know…' started the ship, unable to say the word.

'I don't know,' admitted the teenager. 'That word, it's not made for what Zim and I have. It's not strong enough.'

After a long moment of silence, the ship emitted a thoughtful sound.

'You seriously creep me out,' it admitted. 'I just can't wrap my circuits around that.'

'What, you can't accept the fact that I'm dating an alien?'

'No, of course not! I was kinda hoping I'd be abducted by aliens scientists, who would lead me to their beautiful queen, and that she'd fall in love with me and make me king, and that my wisdom would bring an era of happiness to their land…'

"Man, I was such a dork!" realized Dib with a mental face palm. No wonder everyone had thought him crazy.

'I guess you'll have to settle for an Invader instead of a queen,' he shrugged.

'But I didn't even know I liked guys!' whined the ship. 'I thought I would have known something like that!'

'We don't, I think,' said the real Dib. 'I mean, besides those fantasies featuring Scully AND Mulder…'

'I DON'T WANNA KNOW!'

'Alright! Calm down!'

'I'm too young to know these things! Just tell me if he treats you decently! You were complaining about him earlier, I want to know what he did to you!'

'Oh, that? Err… I'm just mad at him, I guess. We've had a fight and I have no idea who should be doing the apologizing, and I also haven't talked to him in days and I hate to say it, but I miss the jerk.'

'…It's that bad?' whispered the ship.

'Not really,' shrugged Dib. 'He'll just give me the silent treatment until he gets bored with it and probably rampage through the Skool grounds with a Megadoomer until he finds-'

'No, I mean… You have it for him that bad? This is not a joke, is it? You really… Oh, by Bigfeet's left footprint, I'm really gonna say it… You're really in love with Zim?'

Dib paused, and adverted his eyes away from the console. At his right, GIR was sleeping, curled around a piggy toy he probably found inside his head. In front of him, there were millions of stars scattered all around the universe. The view was breathtaking, but it did nothing to soothe Dib's nerves.

'I…' he started.

'Hold onto that,' interrupted the ship. 'I just detected something in the radar. It is a ship… Irken, probably. Waiting for confirmation… Yep, it's the Massive.'

'We're in trouble,' whimpered Dib.

'Yeah, I think so too.'

* * *

AN: How many characters from the show can I insert in this fic?


	4. Abducted

_AN: SO sorry about the delay! I blame school, my new job, Star Trek fics and Big Bang Theory episodes._

_I dedicate this chapter to all of you who are STILL following this story even if I took years to post it. I love you, guys._

* * *

**Chapter 4- Abducted**

* * *

Vort was once one of the most powerful planets in the known universe. It was home to nice inhabitants, and you could find on it the most beautiful landscapes, along with the smartest minds. Vort was prosperous, economically and culturally. You could also say that Vort was humans thought to be "heaven".

It doesn't need to be said that the Irken Empire conquered it as soon as it could. Come on, anyone would do it, given the right amount of firepower. The Vortians were just asking for it, signing a peace treaty with the most power-hungry force of the galaxy. The Horniest One, and don't laugh, that's the name of their supreme leader, should have seen it coming when he signed the treaty. Almighty Tallest Miyuki and her advisors were all snickering behind their claws when he put his name on the alliance.

Now look at the result: the planet was completely ravaged, thanks to Irken aesthetic standards or rather, lack thereof. They transformed the place into a gigantic prison, where they kept the most rebellious subjects in the Empire. It came in handy that the most rebellious kind of aliens were the Vortians, it didn't cost a single monies to move them. Yes, Irkens could be practical too.

Zim had not been on Vort since operation Impending Doom 2 and the invasion of said planet by Invader Larb. While angrily muttering about stupid Larb and his dumb luck, he couldn't omit to notice that it was easier to find a parking spot, now.

He landed the Voot Cruiser next to the medium security area, and walked to the first door with a resolute stride. A medium-sized Irken, looking rather bored, stood to attention when he saw Zim walk up to him.

'Halt! Name and rank, soldier!'

'I am ZIM!' declared pompously the Irken. 'You shall let me pass!'

'I can't do this.'

'What? What is this foolishness? I am taller than you and an Invader, I outrank you!'

'I have specifics orders on who is allowed inside. You are not on the list, no matter how tall and famous you are.'

'Zim is famous?'

'Oh, yes, everyone has seen your failed executions,' said the soldier with a smile. 'My mate is a big fan of yours, she says you look very dashing since your growth spurt.'

'Hehe, yes, Zim is amazing!' said the Invader, brushing some imaginary lint from his uniform. 'Now, let me through!'

'Still can't do it,' shrugged the soldier. 'But will you sign me an autograph?'

'FOOLISH GUARD! ZIM REFUSES TO DO SO!'

He walked off angrily. A couple of seconds later, he came back, signed the soldier's electric notepad and walked off angrily once more. He was almost at his ship, when a little voice interrupted his inner fuming.

'Mister Zim!' said the small voice.

He lowered his head to find an even smaller janitorial drone crouched under his Voot Cruiser. Zim narrowed his eyes at the intruder and lifted his antennas to full height.

'What do you want, ridiculously tiny thing?' snapped Zim.

'I can help you get inside,' said the janitor with a smirk. 'The name's Zoot.'

'Do I look like I care about your name? Now lead me inside, tinysaurus.'

Zoot sent him a reproachful brown look, grumbling about duty to the cause and stupid wannabe Invaders. He led him through a side door and let his pak be scanned. It opened easily, and both walked into a staff room, where other small Irkens were busy with their chores. All of them lifted their heads and saluted Zim.

'You have come!' breathed one of them, a pink-eyed female. 'She was right, things are really moving forward!'

'It has finally begun,' exclaimed another one.

'Zim, your actions will bring greatness to the Empire!' chirped a third one.

'I am glad you realized the greatness of Zim,' said smugly the Invader. 'But I am in a hurry, so lead me to the cells!'

'Yes, yes…' grumbled Zoot.

The small janitor led him through many different corridors, sometimes opening the doors with his pak, sometimes with a code, and even answering to guards who seemed to be on this mysterious thing and let them pass with only a glance. Even Zim, in his fogged-up mind, started to suspect that something was amiss.

'Sorry about the detours,' whispered Zoot, hurrying to keep up with Zim's longer strides. 'We still haven't managed to enroll all the guards, just half of them. What prisoner were you trying to find?'

'I'm looking for 777,' answered Zim with narrowed eyes.

'The Vortian scientist? She told us it could be something like that…'

'Okay, I've had enough. Who's that "she" you all keep babbling about?'

'It's Tak, of course! She was the one that warned us of your arrival, she told us to help you with everything.'

'That psychotic female told you to HELP me? By Irk, she wasn't lying! What's with everyone, today, can't you stop acting insane?'

'…I don't understand…' muttered Zoot.

'Things are going way too easily! Zim is not supposed to enter a building with the help of staff, Zim is supposed to blast his way through with a plasma cannon! I don't trust this!'

'…We are here,' said slowly Zoot, pointing at a metallic door that read "777".

The door swished open, revealing a small room that contained a cubic imprisonment field. Zim could see the silhouette of a small Vortian standing up, behind the energy wall.

'Neat,' said Zim. 'Now get him out.'

'What? You want to actually escape WITH the prisoner?' exclaimed Zoot. 'I thought it was only some information retrieval!'

'Nonsense, Zim has been retrieving information for years without the need to come here,' scoffed the Invader. 'Open the containment field.'

'Huh… I can't do that, I'm a janitor…' mumbled Zoot. 'But I'll see what we can do about it. Just stay there, close the door and don't make any noise!'

'Off you go!' snapped Zim, making impatient shooing motions.

Zoot ran away and let the door close behind him. Zim came back to the cell, to find the Vortian watching him with his beady purple eyes.

'What is it this time, Zim?' he asked in a tired voice.

'Nice to see you too, Seven,' smirked Zim. 'How are you, "old friend"?'

'Oh, the routine, you know,' waved off the Vortian. 'Working my horns off thirty-six hours a day to build advanced technology for an Empire that backstabbed mine and imprisoned my people. The food isn't bad, though, and we have health and horn insurance, so I can't really complain.'

'Yeah, yeah, it is all magical,' waved off Zim, who had stopped listening a moment ago.

'What do you want now, Zim?' repeated the scientist with a little bit of exasperation. 'What is so important that you couldn't simply contact me from your base?'

'Oh, this is juicy and full of goo,' smirked the Irken. 'I'm helping you escape, so you can help me find a way in and out the Massive, undetected.'

'The Massive?' he gasped. 'But, that's VERY illegal and HIGHLY dangerous! The Tallests will be furious!'

'Are you in?'

'By the Horniest One, of course I am!' smiled 777.

The door swished back open, and Zoot came in, followed by a nervous looking female guard. Her purplish eyes darted left to right, before landing on Zim and frowning.

'I still don't like this,' she muttered to Zoot. 'He should not be here, he's a liability.'

'You gave your loyalty to the cause,' reminded her Zoot. 'We must make as the Almighty Smallest says, and he told us to trust Tak.'

'I do trust Tak, just not HIM,' she whispered. 'He's unpredictable and dangerous. He hurt several of my comrades on his last visit to the Massive.'

'I am right in front of you,' said Zim with a sneer. 'I can hear everything.'

'I know you can,' she growled. 'I don't know if I want to help you go back to the Massive, you're probably going to hurt several of my companions on the way!'

'Zim will only damage them if they get on my way,' he sneered.

'Some of them probably will!' she retorted angrily. 'They are still loyal to the Tallest and will obey their orders! They know nothing of the cause!'

'Not my problem. Zim will get rid of anyone opposing him.'

'Don't you have any compassion in your squeedly-spooch?' she shrieked. 'Are you so full of yourself that a human is more important than a fellow Irken?'

Zim narrowed his eyes and bent a little so he was at eye level with her. His antennas lowered menacingly, and his teeth showed a little.

'How DARE you compare the life of some puny soldiers to my Kribliss? May I remind you that the Tallest stole the only being in the universe that never stopped believing in Zim's power and awesomeness? They will get what is coming to them, and ANYONE siding with them will suffer the same fate! NOTHING will stand on Zim's way of getting his Dib back! No one, not even you! Now OPEN THIS CONTAINMENT FIELD AT ONCE!'

She tried to stop the fear from showing on her face, but her submissive antennas betrayed her. Zoot was almost shaking, behind her. He gave her a little push forward and she stumbled in front of 777's cage. She typed a code, and the energy fields disappeared at once. The Vortian gladly walked out of there and followed Zim to the door. Zoot was about to lead them outside, when the purple-eyed soldier stopped them.

'Zim,' she said in an even voice. 'I may not have a Kribliss, like you, but there are people I care about, and I don't want them hurt. Please, try to…'

She seemed to rethink what she was about to say, and changed idea.

'I hope, for your sake and ours, that you get your human back.'

'Zim will,' answered the Invader before exiting the room.

Zoot lead them all the way back, 777's pointy feet making regular 'cling-cling' noises on the metal floor. The Vortian was humming under his breath, happy to be free from his cell. Zoot lead them out as easily as they came in, and escorted them to Zim's Voot cruiser.

'Good work, soldier,' congratulated Zim while opening his cockpit. 'Zim is satisfied.'

'Yeah, thanks,' said Zoot in an hesitant voice. 'Zim, huh… I just got to know. Do you care at all about the cause?'

'Zim only cares about getting back what is rightfully his,' snapped the Invader, before climbing up the ship and closing the hatch after them.

Little Zoot watched Zim and 777 fly away, an unsure expression on his face.

* * *

Let's head back to space once more, to find our favorite paranormal investigator and also only human protagonist of this story, stuck in a conversation with himself. The ship had talked for hours, and while listening to his younger self had some interesting points on a purely scientific basis, Dib was starting to get tired to hear why the mere concept of dating Zim was the most atrocious thing that could ever happen in the history of the universe, no matter what plane of existence you lived in.

'But he has antennas! Like a bug!'

'I already told you that you get used to them after a while,' answered Dib, his eyes closed in exasperation. He'd been like that for the past hour. 'And there are some pros that you aren't old enough to know yet. Just trust me.'

'I'm not sure I do anymore!' replied the ship in a childish voice.

'I thought you'd come to terms with the fact that I am fully aware of what I'm doing, that I like Zim a lot and that nothing you can say will change that fact?' cut the human with exasperation. 'If I managed to keep going without changing myself for my dad, my teachers or society, I surely won't drop my only relationship because my inner child said so!'

'I still don't trust him. He could betray you.'

'There's the chance,' shrugged Dib. 'But it wouldn't be the first time. We could work around that.'

'What? You'd let him backstab you and you'd still come back to him?'

'Oh, I could do the same and we'd still come back,' rationalized the teenager. 'Maybe not as lovers, but we'd still be there. We spent our life fighting, there's almost nothing he can do that would surprise me anymore.'

'…You are weird,' concluded the ship. 'Also, we are here.'

Dib opened his eyes and let out a surprised yelp. The Massive seemed almost on top of them.

'You could've told me sooner!' he reproached the ship.

He could have sworn it shrugged, but he didn't stop to wonder how it conveyed such an emotion without shoulders. GIR stirred from his sleep mode and stretched like a cat, before getting a cupcake from his head and eating it noisily.

The ship went past the docking entrance of the Massive and got pulled by one of the numerous little ships surrounding it. Dib frowned.

'Why is that ugly ship pulling us in their tractor beam? I thought my kidnapping was important enough to at least get me in the mother ship!'

'…Why are you complaining?'

'Because I already know the Massive, and how to escape from its prisons. Now I have to start all over again!'

A small hatch opened on the side of the dirty ship, and the Voot cruiser landed softly in the tiny shipping area. The outer door closed, and the Voot Cruiser opened its hatch.

'Well, it was nice talking to you,' said teenage Dib while getting out as fast as he could.

He landed softly and turned around when he heard an inside door open. A small and fat Irken approached at a jogging pace, and stopped short upon seeing Dib. The teenager instantly crouched to a fighting stance and glared.

'I won't go down easily,' he warned.

'…Who are you?' asked the alien with a surprised face.

'Huh?'

'Silly me, of course I know who you are,' waved off the Irken. 'You're Zim's human. I wasn't expecting you, to be honest.'

'Then, who were you expecting?' asked the teenager, still fully alert.

'Zim, in fact. I think I'm starting to get what Tak's plan was,' he grumbled to himself.

'You're on this with her,' hissed Dib. 'What do you want?'

'The original plan was to get Zim here so he could help us, but Tak has her way of doing things, and I don't necessarily approve. I guess she thought of using you to get Zim here…'

Dib frowned and stood to full height, knowing it would intimidate the Irken in some way. He was right, the little green alien lowered sensibly his antennas when he realized exactly how tall the human was.

'I am sorry about the inconvenience,' he said sincerely. 'It was not our intention to get you tangled in our mess. Please accept my sincere apologies.'

'…Alright, then,' said Dib, surprised. 'You know, of all the aliens that abducted me, you are so far the most polite. I didn't know Irkens could be that nice, to be honest.'

'Most of my comrades don't know how to properly treat a member of another species,' said the alien with a sheepish smile. 'Welcome aboard the Stain, Zim's Kribliss. I am Invader Skoodge, and it is an honor to meet you.'

'Oh, no need to be so formal,' said Dib, scratching the back of his head. 'I'm your prisoner, after all. You can call me Dib.'

'A prisoner? I'd rather call you my guest, human Dib! And my manners are atrocious; I'm keeping you in the garage! Would you like to follow me to the bridge with your SIR unit?'

Dib only then remembered GIR's presence. The robot had been silent for a while, which was unusual. It was now standing a little further away, eyes vacant, pink tongue falling limp and some drool leaking out of its mouth. Dib preferred not to ask.

'…He'll follow us later,' he mumbled, scratching the back of his head in a nervous habit.

He walked next to Skoodge in the Stain's corridors, trying to follow the Invader's happy chatter on the food prices on Foodcourtia, the incredible view of the Squiggle nebula from the Blorch galaxy, and the unpredictable weather on Omicron Persei 8 at this time of the millennia. Dib nodded once in a while, still not getting the purpose of his presence on the Stain.

They got to the main bridge, a smallish thing with only a piloting chair, some screens and a huge windshield. Another Irken was already sitting, its enormous body not fitting in at all. It snapped its head around and glowered at them. Dib had a weird déjà-vu impression, but couldn't remember what.

'We gave her too much credit,' grumbled the big Irken after a moment. 'This is not one of her smartest plans.'

'What is done is done, Sizz-Lorr,' placated Skoodge. 'Tak knows what she's doing.'

'Yeah right. She kidnapped Zim's plaything, and now he's gonna come down in a mad rampage and erase us using his bare claws.'

'I thought you didn't fear Zim?' asked Skoodge in a surprised tone.

'I used not to, but then, everybody saw what he did to that Glagoarth beast. Wasn't enough of it left for a patty with a side of fries.'

Dib couldn't help the grin splitting his features. That had happened when Zim had thought him dead. His alien had completely snapped and reduced the one he thought to be Dib's murderer to a bloody pulp.

Sizz-Lorr sent an irritated glance his way, and went back to the console, typing furiously with his large claws.

'Introducing Zim in the plan was already a risky move,' he growled. 'Now that we've actually stole his Kribliss, everything will go downhill, and the resistance will be eliminated before we even find a way to get inside the Massive.'

Dib took a moment to register all this, and interrupted Skoodge before the tiny Invader could say anything.

'Wait, let me understand,' said the human with a frown. 'You two are part of some secret resistance against your leaders, and to take control of the most important ship of your fleet, you need Zim's help, because he knows how to do it, if I remember correctly. Tak knew that kidnapping me would get Zim's attention, so she brought me here and probably fed him some bogus story so he would actually do as you want instead of barging in here and killing you all.'

'I always knew you were smarter than the other humans,' said a snickering voice from behind him.

'Tak!' said Skoodge with a happy smile that showed all his zipper-like teeth.

Dib turned around and was surprised to note that the Irken female standing by the door was smaller than him. He always remembered her being a couple inches taller, but now she barely reached his shoulder. Even Zim was a little bit taller than that. She still had the same vicious purple eyes, angular antennas and wicked smile, one that she directed towards him.

'Had a nice trip, Dib?' she asked in a sugary-sweet voice.

'If you can call being trapped in a tiny Voot cruiser with a psychotic robot and your inner child for only company a nice trip,' he said with a roll of the eyes. 'I get why you kidnapped me, but I'm still angry.'

'You should be glad to be useful to the cause,' growled Sizz-Lorr.

'I don't even know what you guys are fighting for!' snapped Dib.

'You're going to love this,' snickered Tak. 'You humans seem to enjoy causes as noble as this one. Tell them, Skoodge.'

They all turned expectantly to the tiny Irken, who got a resolute expression on his face. His antennas standing proudly, he started talking with an authority Dib would never have guessed from him.

'Too long, the Empire relied on height to measure the valor of someone. We fight to stop the unfairness, we want to give every single Irken a chance for greatness.'

'A revolution to overthrow the powers that be?' smiled Dib. 'I like this. Reminds me of some stories from home.'

'What would a human know about the Uprising?' grunted Sizz-Lorr.

'More than you could imagine,' said the teenager with a serious face. 'Earth's History is drenched in blood. We gave birth to many Empires, just to destroy every single one of them. So I kinda know what I'm talking about.'

The big Irken gave him a skeptic look, but Tak was pensive.

'He's right,' she mused aloud. 'I studied their History… Humans can be scary in their viciousness and cruelty, sometimes. He could be of some use.'

'I want to help,' said Dib.

'Why? These aren't your people,' frowned Skoodge.

'Freedom and equality are great things to fight for,' he said sincerely. Then, as an afterthought: 'And the Tallests are jerks who need to go down.'

Tak snickered loudly, and Skoodge had to hide an amused smile. A sudden beeping sound interrupted them.

'It's a call from our contact number 563, soldier Bass from the Squeaky,' warned the fry-cook. 'Do I open up the communication?'

'Please do,' said Skoodge, approaching the screen. He was surprised to see a serious red-eyed female instead of the soldier he was expecting.

'Greetings, Invader Skoodge.'

'Captain Taty!' he said with a smile. 'To what do I owe the pleasure?'

'I received some interesting news from a member of my crew,' she said with a raised antenna. 'Is this connection safe?'

'The safest there is.'

'Then, let's get to the point. My soldi- By Irk, Dib? What are you doing there?' she said with a surprised voice, noticing the human for the first time.

'…They kidnapped me,' he answered sheepishly. 'But don't worry, I'm okay-'

A shriek could be heard from the speakers. A pair of wiggly antenna appeared from the bottom of the screen.

'Captain, did you said Dib was there? Our Dib? The human? Oh, please, can I say hello? !'

'GET BACK ON THE FLOOR, TABLE!' snapped the Captain, and the antennas disappeared once again. A pitiful whimper was her only answer.

Taty turned back to Skoodge, visibly annoyed.

'To go straight to the point, my soldier told us about the brewing revolution. We want in. The Squeaky crew will follow your orders, Almighty Smallest.'

'I'm glad to have you on our side, but really, there is no need to call me-'

'Keep your lines open and await further orders,' cut in Tak. 'Is your ship near?'

'My pilot is placing the Squeaky next to the Massive as we speak.'

'Perfect, we will contact you if we need of your assistance.'  
'Thank you for your help, Taty,' smiled Skoodge. 'Thank your crew, and your furniture too.'

'I will,' she said with a nod. She then nodded at Dib, and closed the connection for the moment.

Skoodge turned towards Dib and went back to their previous conversation.

'Any kind of help will always be greatly appreciated,' he said. 'I just want you to know that this could be dangerous, even fatal.'

'I'm not afraid,' admitted Dib. 'I've been fighting aliens all my life, I know how you Irkens fight.'

'Pfft, you only ever fought Zim,' sneered Tak. 'Not something I'd gloat about.'

'And you,' he said with an amused smirk. 'We kicked your ass, if I recall correctly.'

She was about to retort when Skoodge silenced them with a single sign of his hand. They turned to him, but he talked to Sizz-Lorr instead.

'We need to speak to Zim, now,' said the diminutive Invader. Could you please open a communication line to his Voot Cruiser?'

Dib and Tak exchanged unsure glances. Both of them knew that things were about to get even more complicated.

* * *

_AN: Some of you may find Taty's treatment of Kinn a little bit harsh. Yeah, it is. She still cares about her scientist, don't worry. Just... imagine living with Kinn 24/7. Taty's temper is already short enough, she doesn't NEED a reason to be a bitch :P (Yeah, total parallel with me living with my sis... You guys know those two are our Mary-Sues, right? It's not like I'm hiding the fact that the whole Squeaky crew are Mary-Sues :P)_

_I'll try to remember to post the next chapter soon. It's just that the more I post, the faster I get to the point where I will need to write the ending of this fic and I DON'T WANNA because it's packed with action and I suck at action DX And it's full of characters!_

_I'm just glad you guys can finally read Seven in this story. Because he is awesome and I'd marry him if someone else would let me. _

_Love you lots, see you next chapter!_

_-Swing_


	5. Backseat drivers from beyond the stars

_AN: Sorry for the delay, people! School has been crazy, and it's not even mid-term yet. All my free time (the little of what's left of it) is spent sleeping. No kidding, I'm always exhausted. But thanks for all the lovely reviews, they remind me that yes, I do have a duty to my readers, and that's uploading new chapters once in a while. In this chapter, more Seven, because I love him so._

* * *

**Chapter 5- Backseat drivers from beyond the stars**

* * *

The tiny Voot cruiser was traveling through space at speeds unprecedented before. Luckily for both Zim and 777, the latest upgrades installed on the ship were non-lethal and almost not dangerous. It didn't stop the Vortian scientist from cringing every time Zim hit the controls, urging the ship to go faster.

The communicator beeped once, then twice, but Zim didn't seem to notice. After a third time, 777 turned toward the Irken.

'Are you going to answer that?' he asked.

'ZIM IS BUSY!' bellowed the Invader. 'Let the machine take it!'

'The machine?'

'ARGH! I always forget that I haven't installed an answering machine on the ship yet.'

'So, are you…'

'NONSENSE! They will call at a later time when Zim doesn't have the UNIVERSE to get through!'

777 shrugged and opened the communication line. The fat Irken appearing on the screen seemed to be surprised.

'Huh…Hi?' said Skoodge. 'Is Zim there?'

'STUPID SHIP I JUST UPGRADED YOU WHY WON'T YOU GO FASTER THROUGH THAT ASTEROID FIELD?'  
'I see he's busy,' said the Irken with an amused smile. 'Are you the one he went to fetch?'

'I am,' nodded the Vortian. 'You must be the Almighty Smallest all the little ones kept talking about.'

'Hehe, they call me that even on Vort?' said Skoodge with a hint of embarrassment. 'I'm Skoodge, leader or the Uprising.'

'You may call me Seven. I used to work with Zim on several projects, in the old days.'

'Yes, I do remember him working with other scientists during Tallest Miyuki's reign…'

'He never told me why he stopped,' said 777.

'That would be because of Tallest Miyuki's death,' said Skoodge while scratching the back of his head. 'He caused it. And Tallest Spork's too.'

777 shot a wary glance at the other chair, where Zim was smashing the console, and yelling in a mix or Irken and English that was impossible to follow.

'Maybe I'll be better off talking to you instead of him,' muttered Skoodge. 'Do you know why he would choose you to help?'

'I was part of the team that designed the Massive,' shrugged 777, as if it was no big thing.

Skoodge's antennas popped straight in the air, and he went speechless for a moment.

'By Irk, your help will be priceless,' muttered the Invader.

'Oh, there is a price,' corrected 777. 'I want my people and my planet to be freed from Irken domination for an unlimited period.'

'You will get it, as long as my people stay in power,' said Skoodge with a nod. 'Acknowledging the true allies of Irk is one of the most important goals of the new era.'

'I hope you keep your promises, little one.'

'I can't afford to lose your expertise. Too much is at stake here, my life not the least.'

He threw a glance at Zim, who had stopped yelling and was concentrating on adding algorithms to the console so it would bypass its own security system and go faster than what was allowed.

'Zim?' said Skoodge, tentatively.

'What do you want, Skoodge?' snapped Zim.

'Do you have any idea of what's happening?'

'My Kribliss was stolen by the Tallest,' he hissed.

'But that's not all-'

'Zim doesn't CARE about the rest!'

'Even if it's a revolution?'

'Is there a chance that Zim will get into power?'

'…Zim, the goal of this is to give every Irken a chance, we can't assure you…'

'Not interested.'

'But surely you must…'

'Nope.'

'You want your human back, I guess?'

'YES! He is MINE! The Tallest will get what they deserve for stealing what is rightfully mine! NOTHING will stand in my way, not even your silly revolution!'

'I'm not sure I can agree to that, Zim,' said Skoodge in a serious tone. 'The plan is to imprison the Tallest, not to-'

'You need Zim to bring you Seven, yes?' asked Zim in a venomous tone.

'…Yes. His knowledge of the Massive is crucial to-'

'Then you shall give Zim the Tallest,' growled the Invader.

Skoodge stayed silent for a moment, then nodded.

'You have your deal.'

'Sweet,' grinned Zim.

Skoodge turned back to 777.

'Here is the situation. We have enough technicians on our side to prevent your ship of being detected, but we lack people in the teleportation room. Do you know another way of infiltrating the Massive?'

'Hm… Let me think about it… I do remember an escape hatch located near snack storage area B. I remember the code I installed on it, it's my hatching day,' he said with a laugh.

'This is perfect! I do have another request, though. Do you think there is any way to stop the Control Brains from interfering? I was thinking that maybe turning the video surveillance down…'

'Or maybe I can just turn them off,' shrugged 777.

'You what? Turn the Control Brains off? But that's unthinkable! It's a total lack of respect for the – You really think you could do it?'

'Yes, I could. But it would be a very complicated maneuver; I won't be able to do it alone. I need another scientist with me. Maybe Zim-'

'Forget it,' snapped Zim. 'I'll be looking for my human.'

'Wait for a moment, I'll see if I can find someone,' said Skoodge.

He put them on hold, and for a couple of minutes the Irken logo was the only thing on the screen. He came back with a smile.

'We are in luck, there is a scientist among our ranks. Here, I sent her the coordinates of the Control Brains room, you should be able to meet her there.'

'Will do, Almighty Smallest!' said 777 with a chuckle.

'…Zim?' said Skoodge. 'Good luck with finding your Kribliss.'

'Zim doesn't need luck, because Zim WILL get his Dib back,' growled the taller Irken.

After a thoughtful pause, Skoodge nodded and closed the connection.

On the Stain, Skoodge stepped away from the communication screen and threw a glance at Dib, who was hiding some paces away, out of view. The human was looking miserable.

'You could have spoken at any time,' said Skoodge.

'I… I know,' mumbled Dib. 'But it would have ruined your plans. I'll just meet him on the Massive and stop him from doing any serious damage. That way, he won't go berserk on you guys, for kidnapping me.'

'He does care a lot about you,' said Skoodge with some wonder.

'I know. I just makes me feel even more of a bastard right now.'

Skoodge watched the human walk out of the room with his hands in his pockets, a guilty look upon his face.

* * *

Meanwhile, not far away, aboard the Squeaky…

'I DON'T WANT TO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO!' wailed Kinn, both hands pulling her wiggly antennas.

'You are right, I cannot force you,' answered Captain Taty. 'It is your choice.'

At that word, Kinn seemed to freeze. Her orange eyes popped wide, and a whimper came out of her.

'…my choice?'

'Yes.'

'But-but-bububut CAPTAIN! You know I can't choose! You'll tell me to choose between left and right and I'll answer ZEBRA!'

'I know. I will never make that mistake again.'

'So please, just tell me what to dooooooo…'

Miik rolled her eyes and gave her a shove.

'Just stop being a whiner and act up,' she growled. 'You said you'd join the Uprising, what's stopping you?'

'Deactivation!' she screeched. 'I want to help, but isn't there a way to do it from outside the crossfire?'

'Whiner,' grumbled Miik.

'Kinn,' sighed Captain Taty, 'it's alright if you don't want to go. I'll contact Skoodge and tell him to find another scientist.'

'I don't think he'll manage, Captain,' said Bass with a frown of his brown eyes. 'And time is ticking by. If they get inside the ship and no one is there to help, they both risk deactivation.'

'Yeah, and Kinn will be responsible for Zim's, that Vortian's, and a whole bunch of people's deaths,' added Miik with a sneer. 'Way to go, Orangey.'

Kinn was reduced to a state close to tears, her antennas pulled by her clutched hands.

'…I'm just a table…' she whimpered.

Blo placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, which seemed to calm her a bit. She raised her head and muttered a weak "I'll do it…", which seemed to satisfy the Captain.

She called back Skoodge and both of them discussed for a moment. Taty closed the connection and went back to her relatively calm scientist.

'Here, log in the database, Skoodge gave us the coordinates. You'll have to meet the Vortian over there.'

'The Control Brains room?' screeched Kinn when her pak wire connected. 'Why don't you just delete me now?'

'He did say it was an important and difficult job.'

'My Captain?' said Miik, with a frown. 'How on Irk is she supposed to get on board?'

'All is arranged with Skoodge, she will be teleported.'

'I thought we didn't have anyone inside the teleportation room?' asked Bass.

'This is why it must be Kinn, and no one else,' said Taty with a cunning smile. 'They would suspect an unknown scientist… but no one would suspect a table.'

All the others shared a knowing smile. Except Kinn, that is.

'I don't get it,' she said.

'…And you never will,' sighed Taty.

* * *

Zim followed 777's instructions and parked the Voot Cruiser next to a particular spot. Both aliens activated the space function of their suits, protecting their heads with an invisible energy bubble. That would also allow them to breathe for the few moments they would be outside.

The Irken extended a hand under the piloting seat and extracted two bright purple guns. He seemed to think for a moment, but scoffed and extended one to the Vortian, who was waiting expectantly. He then opened the hatch, and grasped 777's hand. With the help of his spider leg's, he navigated them until they were both next to the secret hatch.

'There is still a problem,' said the Vortian. 'Your pak…'

'Yes, Zim knows,' grunted the Irken.

'You will be detected as soon as you set foot on the Massive, that will trigger the alarm, and we'll be arrested and maybe worse…'

'Probably worse. The Tallest are not happy with Zim, after all.'

'So, I suggest that you wait here, until I manage to deactivate-'

'No. Zim will go now. I can't lose more time, humans have an atrocious resistance to pain, fire, cold, lasers and that kind of things. Can you believe they can't go more than six minutes without breathing?'

'…Why did you choose such a fragile species to bond with?' wondered 777.

Zim just shot him a dark look, and changed the subject.

'Open the hatch, Zim will go with you.'

'But, the alarms!'

'There is a way around that. Just open the hatch!'

777 just shrugged and complied. He was used to Zim's mood swings and bad temper. He typed in his code and saw the door open. He jumped in and turned around, waiting to see what Zim would do.

'You have ten minutes to find and deactivate the control brains,' said Zim.

'Ten minutes? Why?'

He saw with horrified eyes the Irken reach around and take off his own pak. He then jumped inside, and smiled when no alarm went blaring off.

'Just as Zim thought,' he snickered. 'The paks can't be read if they're not attached to someone.'

'Oh, this is really smart, Zi-'

'WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING THERE? I DIE IN NINE MINUTES FIFTY-TWO SECONDS! RUN, YOU STUPID VORTIAN!'

* * *

_AN: The clock is ticking, Zim... I'll TRY to update soon and not keep you suffering for too long. If you get impatient, mail my teachers and tell them to stop giving us so much work. Yeah, that'll do. I still love you all! See you next chapter! -Swing_


	6. Ten minutes to doom

_AN: PEOPLES! I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT! This man is gay AND European!_

_Seriously, the new chapter is annoucement in itself that I'm back :) Sorry-sorry-so-so-sorry for the incredible delay. Real life got in the way with its hardships, nervous breakdowns, recoverings, awesome weddings, awesomer friends, etc etc. Anyway, I'm still alive and there's science to do, so let's get this chapter on the road._

_Last time, Zim and 777 infiltrated the Massive. 777 had to find and deactivate the Control Brains, Zim had to find his Kribliss. Both had less than 10 minutes to do so, because Zim had to take off his pak so he would not be detected. The clock is ticking._

* * *

**Chapter 6-Ten minutes to doom**

* * *

The Massive's teleportation room was silent and empty, if one didn't count the two utterly bored technician drones sitting behind their console, playing some Irken version of Battleship.

'Pin, you cheater! You moved your ship to avoid my canon blast!'

'Well, dhu! It's a ship, I won't let it stand there waiting to be blasted into itty-bitty pieces!'

'It's against the rules!'

'Getti, it's Battlespaceship, there are NO rules!'

'Lies! Despicable lies! You will pay for-'

The warning sign on one of the consoles started to beep, startling both of them.

'A teleportation request?' muttered Getti.

'In case you haven't noticed, we are teleportation technicians, in a teleportation room…'

'I know that, you half-brain! I'm surprised because there hasn't been a single teleportation for the last three days!'

'Probably because of the Big Update mess and all…'

'Of course it's because of that! I knew that already!'

'Shouldn't we check that request?'

Getting grumbled and read the data on the screen.

'A table?' he wondered aloud.

'The big shots are ordering some new furniture, I see,' yawned Pin. 'Booooooring…'

'Just zap it in,' huffed Getti.

Pin unlocked the teleporters and closed his eyes at the bright flash of white light. A moment later, a female Irken with orange eyes stood in front of them, looking truly sick.

'Ooooooh I don't feel so good…' she moaned.

'Don't you think she's a little bit tall for a table?' whispered Getti to Pin.

'Must be a Tallest's table,' shrugged the other. 'So they don't need to hunch over. But you wouldn't know that…'

'What are you insinuating?'

'That you're small.'

'You're only two ligas taller than me!'

'Which makes me your superior!'

'We have the exact same job, you're not my superior!'

'Only the Control Brains can deci- hey, where did she go?'

The orange-eyed Irken had disappeared from the room, leaving them alone, once again. They would have investigated further, if it wasn't for another beep, and another, and another.

'What the…?' muttered Pin. 'Service drones requesting to be allowed in…'

'Tallest Red has probably thrown a fit, and now they want to replace the ones they've thrown into space.'

'Yeah, better to let them in, I wouldn't want to be thrown either.'

He accepted the command, and watched as a service drone, then another, and another, teleported inside. They started to get suspicious around the tenth one, but then, the service drones took out guns and shot them both.

* * *

Luckily for Zim, it didn't take them too long to reach the Control Brain's room. 777 knew his ship well, and managed to maneuver them both through shortcuts to escape the guards. Three minutes had already gone by, and Zim's usual exuberance had quieted down to a resolute focus. He was holding his gun in one hand and his pak in the other, and every second he had to fight the urge to put it back on.

'We're almost there,' whispered 777, pointing to an adjacent corridor.

'That door?' pointed Zim to a metallic round door. 'No guards?'

'Maybe Skoodge managed to-'

'Just go!' ordered Zim. 'I can't calculate time without my pak, I think I have barely over six minutes left!'

'I can start, but I'll need another scientist to-'

'JUST GO! I have a Dib to find! If you're not done in time, I'll put my pak back!'

777 nodded and watched Zim run away towards the prisons. The Vortian knew that the moment Zim put his pak back on, the alarms would go off like crazy and everyone would be looking for intruders. Skoodge's revolution and all hopes for the Vortians and other enslaved planets would go down the drain.

'This Irken needs to prioritize,' grumbled 777. He typed some codes and the door opened with a _whoosh _and some steam, just for effect. He entered silently and stared with wonder and reverence at the Control Brains.

They were three oversized paks that had outlived the Irkens wearing them. They were connected by thousands of wires to the ceiling and walls. They were the life of the Massive, the spirits of the first three Tallests of the spatial era. The basis of Irken life and society.

'This will be fun!' said 777 with optimism.

'Who are you, stranger, and what brings you before us?' asked the first Control Brain with a deep voice.

'I am a scientist from Vort,' said 777 while taking out his gun. 'Your kind calls me prisoner 777.'

'What is your purpose, Vortian?' asked severely a younger male voice. 'If you aim to destroy us, it will not succeed, for we are immortal.'

'Oh, I don't want to kill you, I'm just there for a little chat!' said 777.

While saying that, he opened the side of his gun and exposed the electrical compounds. He looked at it for a moment, removed the part that created the laser beam and placed it on the nearby table. He was about to continue, when a whimper interrupted his operations.

'…Can I stand, now?' muttered a pitiful voice.

The Vortian was surprised to see that the sound had come from the table he was using. There was an Irken girl, there, wearing the table on top of her pak. She looked at him with pleading orange eyes.

'Pretty please?' she asked.

'Oh, you are the sci-' started 777, before stopping himself.

'Yeah, I was sent by my Captain, but they don't want to let me walk…'

'Irken, if your encoding is the one of a table, there must be a reason,' reasoned the Control Brain with the voice of a young male.

'Keep to your status!' said the older male.

'See?' she whined.

777 threw a mean look at the Control Brains and gave a hand to the Irken female. She gladly took it and jumped up to her feet, her back cracking once or twice. She wasn't a tall Irken, but she was taller than Skoodge by a handful of Ligas.

'Thank you!' she squealed.

'Thank me later, we have work to do and four minutes to go. Here, take this gun and reconfigure it so it is aligned with the pak's communication frequency.'  
'Err… alright. I can do that,' she said with little conviction.

She took out a pak leg with a whirring tool and started tweaking the insides of the gun. 777 let her to it and walked towards the nearest console, where the first Control Brain was connected.

'What are you doing, Vortian?' it asked with a soft female voice.

'I am merely putting you to sleep,' said the 777.

'See that you do it correctly, then,' it said.

'…I beg your pardon?'

'We are aware of the changes in our Empire,' she explained. 'We Control Brains are not there to stop the evolution of our people. If change is what they seek, we will not interfere.'

'Foolishness!' boomed the older voice. 'They seek to overthrow the heightocracy! Chaos will ensue!'

'Another system will take its place,' reasoned the younger male. 'It will be our duty to help the next Tallest, or whatever their status might be.'

777 hesitated to open the console. He looked at the oversized pak that spoke with a female's voice.

'Do not worry, young Vortian. We know of you. You are one among those who built our current home,' she said.

'Your mind is bright and your hand secure,' said the young male.

'So get on with it,' ordered the old one.

The Vortian nodded and worked for a good thirty seconds, wondering if Zim was still alive. He knew the Irken wouldn't hesitate to put back his pak, but what if he got attacked in the meantime? A gun wouldn't be much against soldiers with charged pak legs.

After a moment, he managed to cut the power circuitry. The lights and hums stopped at once, and an eerie silence got hold of the ship. Only the Control Brains and Kinn's bright orange eyes shined in the dark.

'The motors and main electrical circuits are shut down,' muttered 777 for himself. 'I'll keep the emergency lights on, but the alarms will have to-'

'Wait!' boomed the older voice. 'An intruder in the ship! An unauthorized pak! A defective Irken! ZI-'

777 pulled a wire, and the Control Brain fell into silence. It was merely cut from communications and alarms, but the way it whirred told of its fury. The Vortian turned towards the two other ones.

'Sorry if that was harsh.'

'No, you did good, young Vortian,' said the young male. 'The goal of any revolution is to overthrow the current system. It is fair that Hierarchy be the first to go.'

'I am Society, and will go with our people's wishes,' said the female. 'We will know at the end of this what it is that the Empire wants.'

'And I, being Justice, knows that sometimes, fair battle is the only way to challenge unfairness,' said the young male.

The Vortian got up, dusted himself, and turned towards the other occupant of the room with a smile.

'So, how's the gun going?'

'…I'm just done with it,' she muttered. 'Here.'  
'Why are you whispering?'

'I'm intimidated!' she squeaked. 'These are the foundations of our society you're talking to! I also don't feel really comfortable with the idea of shooting them!'

'This will not affect their vital functions,' explained 777 while frowning at the gun. 'This won't work, it won't hold the necessary power. You got something bigger, per chance?'

'Err, yeah?' she said.

The gun she took out of her pak was atrociously large, and one wonders how it could fit into such a tiny space.

'My Captain didn't really want to give me a gun, said I'd shoot myself, but I begged enough, and our mercenary let me borrow Priscilla, his favorite. "Anything for the Cause and a good laugh" he told me, but I'm not really sure I'm up to-'

'You'll do wonderfully, I'm sure of it,' said the Vortian while gently taking the huge thing from her trembling claws. He then proceeded to open it again, and transfer the insides of the smaller gun into the huge pink and purple alien doom machine. He then closed it with a resounding _snap!_ and turned towards the Control Brains with a gentle smile.

'This here is connected to the pak frequencies. A ray of this will not stop the pak functions, only disconnect it from everything around it. We will reactivate you when the Uprising comes to an end.'

'Then carry on, young Vortian,' said Society. 'If the new era must pass by you, a defective food service drone and a retrograded scientist, so be it.'

'Sleep well, my Tallest,' whispered 777, before firing three consecutive white beams.

The Control Brains fell silent and the constant humming of the last remaining machines stopped at once.

'…Are you sure you haven't deactivated them?' wondered the Irken scientist.

'I think so…' he frowned. 'Let's hope. Say, what is your name?'

'I'm Kinn,' she said with an uneasy blink. 'You?'

'You may call me Seven,' he smiled. 'You have quite the unusual eyes, lady Kinn. I've never seen such a coloration on an Irken before.'

'Err, yeah, I know it's ugly, and it's actually my fault,' she said in a little voice. 'You see, when the Control Brains asked me what color of synthetic eyes I wanted, I panicked! And instead of choosing pink, or purple, or red, or even brown-'

'I think it's pretty,' said 777. 'Different. It suits you.'

Kinn stopped stammering and her huge orange eyes popped open. Her face darkened with a pinkish hue, and she started to babble incoherently for a good thirty seconds. 777 stood there, waiting patiently.

'I- Err- I mean- That's so nice- But everyone else- I- I mean- Orange is such a weird color! No Irken would ever want that on their face! It's worse than turquoise! Oh by Irk, knowing myself, I'll accidentally choose turquoise for my next update!' she mumbled.

'I'm sure you'll look lovely in turquoise,' said gently the Vortian. 'How about we finish our work, lady Kinn? The sooner we're done, the sooner we can get out of here.'

She nodded fervently and sat down next to him, in front of the main console. It was not enough to put the Control Brains to sleep and shut down the main circuitry, they also needed to monitor and stop any access to the ship's motherboard, so no one could repair the damage before Skoodge's gang was done.

* * *

Let's go back in time a bit and see what the Tallests were doing in the lasts minutes of their reign. The Massive's bridge was relatively calm, with both leaders hovering and supervising and generally doing Tallests things. Red was slurping a soda and Purple was gorging himself with donuts while not gaining an ounce, the bastard. Everything was all right with the world in their little bubble of peace and happiness. That is, until a technician drone looked at a screen and frowned.

'My Tallest? There is an unusual activity down at the teleportation room.'

'Are those two fools arguing again?' snapped Red. 'I told people never to schedule them together!'

'No, my Tallest. It's a strangely high number of incomings. They're all service drones. And a table.'

'Strangely high?' wondered Purple. 'How much?'

'Three hundred, and still going up, my Tallest.'

'Did someone added an extra zero to the last order?' asked Purple.

'I don't know, my Tallest, I'm trying to find the original order.'

'Did you ask for new drones?' asked Red.

'No, I thought you did,' shrugged Purple.

'I don't like this…' he grumbled.

At that moment, the lights and the computers went down.

'Now I DEFINITELY don't like this!' raged Red. 'Find what's going on!'

'Main circuitry is down, my Tallest,' said a technician.

'I can SEE THAT! FIND ME WHY!'

'Yes, my Tallest!'

'Reeeeeeed,' whined Purple. 'I have a bad feeling about thiiiiiis…'

'Let's just cross our fingers and hope it doesn't involve-'

At that moment, both their paks beeped and the voice of a Control Brain was heard through the room.

'An intruder in the ship! An unauthorized pak! A defective Irken! ZI-'

Both Tallest stayed deadly silent at this.

'Shit,' grumbled Red.

* * *

_AN: Yes, at last! I've been waiting for so long to post this chapter (I know it's completely my fault, sorry again). 777 flirting with Kinn is one of my favorite parts in this story. And I did enjoy writing Hierarchy, Justice and Society. I understand that Kinn feels intimidated, I would be too._

_I promise nothing for the next update, because last time I promised I'd be quick, I wasn't able to hold that promise. But you see, I haven't forgotten neither this story, nor you, faithful readers!_


	7. Planet Jackers

_AN: Hello very faithful readers! I know I suck at updating, but I'm still here. Thank you for those who still read this, it's nice to know this story and these characters still interest some of you out there! _

_In this chapter, we have more 777/Kinn interaction and there's some trouble brewing amongst the rebels._

* * *

**Chapter 7- Planet Jackers**

* * *

Let's head back inside the Control Brain's room, where an Irken and a Vortian scientist were willingly working together for the first time since Vort's invasion. They were both half-buried inside the main console, tinkering with its circuitry and chatting happily.

'…and it has the most beautiful forests, full of trees, but you can't imagine the amount of water. It's just unhealthy. I can't believe how much critters manage to live in such a toxic environment.'

'Not all species are that allergic to dihydrogen monoxide, my dear Kinn.'

'I know that, but it still makes me uneasy. Also, I'm sure the toxicity of it has something to do with the crazy way they act and think, over there. I mean, they have this unnecessary urge to wait in lines for everything! Oh, and they have silly ideas like public transportation, religion and Boxing Day. A holiday for boxes!'

'It's hard to understand, I'll admit. Pass me the whatchamacallit.'

'Here.'

'So, you say that Zim's important one comes from there?'

'Yeah, but he's not as bad. I mean, he's tall, and smart, and funny-'

'And sadly for you, already claimed,' noted 777 without lifting his eyes from his work.

'I don't- I didn't mean- It's not like that!' she wailed. 'I know he's Zim's! I don't want to separate them, they're hot together! I don't have any interest in Dib, I wish that people would stop insinuating that!'

'I'm sorry, my lady, I shouldn't have assumed…'

'Yeah, I had this tiny crush on him when we first met, but it's over now,' she admitted in a high pitched mutter. 'We're friends, that's all! So there!'

A strained silence passed between them. Kinn went back to work with a pout.

'Can I ask you a silly question?' asked 777 out of the blue.

Kinn lifted her head and saw the hopeful expression on the Vortian's face.

'…Yes?'

'If we both get out of this mess alive, would you-'

'YOU'RE BOTH SURROUNDED! COME OUT PEACEFULLY AND WE WON'T SHOOT YOU!'

Kinn let out a panicked squeal and held her antennas nervously.

'We're going to diiiiiiie!' she wailed.

'We won't,' said Seven, placing a tiny hand on her arm. 'Are you any good with your pak legs?'

'Atrocious, my aim is all off,' she muttered. 'And my only gun is out there, with that ray thingie…'

'Do you have anything else?'

'Err, calming shots, in my lab coat pocket, but I don't think…'

'It's better than nothing.'

'I SAID COME OUT!' bellowed the voice.

They crept out of the computer and looked up. Two tiny Irkens were aiming mean looking guns at them. A third one, the one who yelled, was holding Kinn's huge ray-gun and inspecting the changes made. 777 stood up, and frowned.

'What is this?' he asked the little janitors. 'Aren't you aware that I'm working for the Almighty Smallest?'

'Orders have changed!' said the leader. 'There is now a new word, a new leader, more fit for the cause! All hail the Tiniest!'

'All hail the Tiniest!' chanted the other two.

'We'll get rid once and for all of the tall oppression! Death to the tall ones!'

'Death to the tall ones!'

'The new orders are to eliminate every Irken taller than a hundred Ligas!'

'But, I'm not an Irken,' noted 777 with a deep frown. 'I've nothing to do with your political system.'

'We're not here for you, but for her!' said the leader, pointing at a crouching and whimpering Kinn. 'She's too tall for the new era! Death to the oppressors!'

'Death to the oppressors!'

Kinn let out a high-pitched wail that sounded a lot like "I don't wanna diiiiiiiiie!" and made herself even smaller on the floor. The leader frowned and approached, but the Vortian placed himself in front of her.

'Don't you dare shoot my table!' he shouted with mean looking beady eyes.

'…Table?' asked the tiny Irken.

'Yes, my table! A tool that YOUR revolution let me use to I could help YOUR revolution by disconnecting the Control Brains!'

At that, the Irkens shot a second look at Kinn. They saw a pathetic looking female, cowering from their guns, and wearing a table strapped to her pak. She blinked, trying to stop her panicked tears. An Irken snorted, then the other, then they were all laughing out loud at the pathetic image of the orange-eyed one.

'This is excellent,' giggled the leader. 'But still, orders are to execute her. Sorry about your table, but you don't really need it, do you?'

'Sure I do!' shouted 777 in an outraged voice. 'I am a SCIENTIST! A scientist needs a table to place his tools on!'

'…But you can have any other table for that…'

'What, and have to walk each time I need a tool? What a foolish idea! I thought you Irkens were a civilized specie!'

'But, you don't even have anything on it right now, I'm sure we can find you-'

'That's because it's holding my stuff in its pockets! That's the full advantage of having a live-table, the clothes! See?'

He dove a hand inside the lab coat pocket and fished out a handful of syringes. He smacked them down on Kinn's table, getting a scared whimper in response. The Irken lifted an antenna.

'But that proves not-'

The Vortian reacted before he could finish his sentence. He stepped in front of Kinn, grabbing two syringes and throwing them in a smooth move to the other two Irkens. Nothing happened. The lead Irken pointed the Vortian with Kinn's gun.

'What was the purpose of this? You are DYING, Vortian! SHOOT THEM!' he bellowed.

'…I'm not sure, boss…' said one with a sigh.

'…What's the point?' shrugged the other one.

The lead Irken placed the gun square between 777's eyes and growled.

'What have you done to them?'

'Merely a little calming shot, they're fine, don't worry.'

'I'M NOT WORRIED, I'M FURIOUS! DIE, VORTIAN!'

And he pulled the trigger. A ray of light illuminated 777's head for a moment. And nothing happened. The Vortian smiled with satisfaction.

'It would work if I had a pak, my friend,' said the scientist.

'But, but-' started the Irken, before letting out a deep sigh. His shoulders sagged in defeat. 'Then, I'm not sure I want to continue this fight…'

777 took a step back and let go of the syringe half-buried in the Irken's squeedly-spooch. He turned around and extended a hand to Kinn.

'Are you alright, my lady?' he asked.

'…Yeah, I think so…' she muttered while standing. 'I'm not so sure about them, though, it was a triple dose, one I hadn't even tested on our pilot yet…'

'Then we'll have some time ahead of us. Do you have more of these little treasures with you?'

'A couple, in my pak.'

'Keep them preciously; we might need them in our escape.'

'Wait, aren't we staying to finish the job?'

'Not when there are traitors in the cause. I refuse to endanger you, and even myself, further than this.'

'Alright, let me call my Captain first…'

She took a step back and concentrated on sending a signal. When it didn't work, she tried several other times, using older and older channels of communication. After some time, she finally found a working encoding that patched her through to the Squeaky. A screen came out of her pak, showing Taty's frowning face.

'Kinn, what is happening? How are things?'

'Disastrous, my Captain! Well, not our work, because the Control Brains are off, and that's some very difficult stuff going on there, but I gotta admit that's most of Seven's work, he's amazing like that-'

'KINN! To the point!'

'There's a rebellion inside the rebellion!' squeaked the scientist. 'We almost got killed by people of the Uprising, they said we were too tall! They're executing everyone over a hundred Ligas! I'm a hundred and TEN Ligas! I'm SCARED, my Captain!'

'Calm down!' ordered the Captain. 'I'll dispatch this information to Skoodge. You, stay out of trouble. Is the Vortian still with you?'

'Yes-'

'Let me talk to him.'

Kinn moved the screen so 777 could see Taty's angry eyes and menacing antennas.

'What is your name, Vortian?' she demanded.

'Call me Seven, Captain.'

'Seven, I entrust you to keep this Irken alive with the price of your own life. If I discover that she's dead and you're not, Irk help me, I will remove your horns and make you EAT them.'

'An interesting way of saying that you're worried, Captain,' smiled the Vortian.

'Do we have an understanding?'

'Yes, Captain. I will take care of lady Kinn.'

'Good. And Kinn?'

'Yes, my Captain?' she whimpered.

'Do NOT panic. We are coming to get you.'

At that moment, the door opened once again, to reveal a dozen of tiny Irkens pointing them with as many lethal-looking guns.

'My Captain?' muttered Kinn. 'Please, do hurry up.'

* * *

The author of this story is very aware that is has been a while since we've talked about one of our protagonists, the only human taking part in this invasion of green. But to be fair, not that much time had elapsed, story-wise. And Dib was actually boring during all this time. You know, brooding, sulking, talking to himself, feeling guilty of lying to his alien lover and endangering him by doing so, that kind of thing. It was enough to drive Tak completely crazy. She gritted her teeth while typing furiously on a computer, trying to tune the human out.

'-and I KNOW it was the only way to get him to cooperate, but when you think about it, what right do I have to manipulate him like that? All this is not really my problem, when you think about it, all this Uprising stuff doesn't concern a human that much. I'm sure you lot can take care of yourselves, you're pretty vicious when you need to be. Oh, shit, what have I do-'

'HUMAN!' screeched Tak at the top of her voice. 'If you don't shut up RIGHT NOW I'll take your spleen with my bare claws!'

Dib opened his eyes, and sat down next to her, crossing his arms.

'Irk,' she mumbled through her teeth. 'I had forgotten how insufferable you were.'

'Hey, I'm just worried for Zim-'

'Yes, I got this part!' she snapped. 'Change your tune, PLEASE.'

'Come on, don't you feel guilty of manipulating him?'

'Never!' she snickered. 'If he's stupid enough to buy it, too bad for him!'

'But, but… I'm his Kribliss…' muttered Dib.

She stopped typing and snapped her head around, narrowing her purple eyes.

'I think you still don't get the meaning of this word, Dib,' she stated.

'Isn't it claiming someone?' asked Dib petulantly. 'To love them or kill them?'

'It's to love AND kill, silly boy. Your species never understood the subtlety.'

'What? How can you- it doesn't make any sense!'

'Think, Dib! If Zim suddenly decided that your silly puppy love wasn't worth his time? What if he tried to pathetically take over your planet again? Would you sit there and mope around?'

'No! I'd try to stop him, of course! I won't let the Earth be endangered, not even by him!'

'And what if he tried to eliminate you?'

'I'd fight right back, of course!'

'Tell me, Dib, what is the absolute worse thing that Zim has ever done to you?'

'I- I don't know where to start! There was the time where he made me believe in a fake life just to get back for a stupid muffin! And there was the time where he has my DNA replaced by BOLOGNA! Or when he tried to throw my whole school bus into a parallel dimension WITH A MOOSE! And then-'

'ENOUGH, I GET IT!' she yelled.

'Then, what's the point of this? We've come a long way since-'

'Dib, when did Zim mark you?' she gritted through her teeth.

'Err, actually, right after you came to Earth, so that must have been…'

'Years ago,' she added with a satisfied smirk, before turning back to her keyboard and resuming her frantic typing.

This left Dib thinking. Maybe Tak had a point, there. Zim had claimed him a long time ago, and that hadn't stopped the alien from doing some horrible things since then. He then came to a realization.

'…He marked me as an enemy. Maybe I'm still that, to him,' he muttered out loud.

'And how does that make you feel?' asked Tak in a monotone, not taking her eyes off the screen.

'…Not that awful, strangely. It's still weird, but it's also nice to be deemed worthy enough…'

'This is Zim we're talking about,' sneered Tak. 'Nothing to be proud of.'

'He still has the biggest ego in the galaxy,' noted Dib.

'Point.'

At that moment, she stopped typing and pressed a big glowing pink button at her side. A bright light came from the ceiling and vanished, materializing something on a nearby table. Tak motioned him to come closer, and took the pile of fabric.

It was a space suit, bearing an Irken insignia on the chest. Tak smiled proudly.

'Like it?'

'Is this… for me?'

'It's twice my height and way too slim for Sizz-Lorr,' she deadpanned. 'Of course it's for you.'

'Thank you, it's great! Love the color!' he said, taking a hold of the black and blue suit. 'Wait, how did you get my measurements?'

She just threw him a enigmatic smile and motioned him to get changed.

'In front of you? No way! What is it with you Irkens trying to get me naked all the frigging time?'

'…You are tall…' she admitted with a smirk.

'And also taken, thank you very much,' he added with shooing motions.

She snickered and let him alone. He hurried, not trusting her much, and he was right to do so. He wasn't even done zipping the suit that she came running back through the door.

'Tak! I told you to-'

'No time, human! Skoodge needs us on the bridge, there is a change of plans!'

Dib ran after her in the Stain's corridor until they reached the main control room. Skoodge was talking frantically with someone over a communicator, his worried face illuminated by the screen. Sizz-Lorr was by his side, holding several mean-looking weapons. He threw one to each of them.

Skoodge terminated the communication and frowned.

'Bad news, I'm afraid,' he said with a serious tone. 'There are traitors among our ranks. They are currently engaged in a killing spree targeting every tall Irken, no matter their affiliation.'

'Do you have any idea who started this?' asked Tak with a frown.  
'They call him the Tiniest, but nothing more is known for the moment.'

'Plan of action?' asked Sizz-Lorr.

'We get in there, find this Tiniest and neutralize his troops,' said Skoodge.

'And what about the Uprising?' asked the fry lord.

'We'll se if there is something to salvage. The important thing is to get our men out of this mess.'

Dib gritted his teeth, a wave of guilt submerging him. He tricked Zim into going there, and now his alien could be killed at any moment by allies.

"Wait, Zim has no allies, he's way too paranoid…" thought the human. "Maybe there is a chance…"

'I'm coming with you,' warned the human.

'Of course you are,' snorted Tak. 'Fool.'

He decided to let the comment slip. Skoodge nodded his assent and grabbed a gun for himself.

'Captain Taty told me they were going in too. Something about rescuing furniture.'

'We can't just rush in there,' stopped Sizz-Lorr. 'We need a plan.'

'But we've never had to fight our own kind before!' interrupted Tak. 'Every newly-hatched smeet gets Irken war strategies downloaded in their pak! They'll know how to counterattack everything we throw at them!'

'They know nothing about human strategies,' proposed Dib.

'Anything you'd like to propose?' sneered Sizz-Lorr.

'In fact, there is this story about a wooden horse-'

'This is no time for stupid human stories!' snapped the fry cook. 'We need something completely unexpected!'

To everyone's surprise, Dib snickered.

'And I've got just the thing,' he smiled.

* * *

_AN: You guys know what's coming, right? hehehehehe..._


	8. GIR goes crazy and stuff

_AN: MERRY DOOMSDAY EVERYONE! Have a new chapter!_

* * *

**Chapter 8 - GIR goes crazy and stuff**

* * *

There was this feeling of impending doom haunting the Massive's corridors. Zim could feel it, in a deep corner of his squeedly-spooch. Maybe it was because he was worried for his human, or because he'd been pakless for more than eight minutes before giving up and putting it back on, or maybe because he'd had to fight a bunch of Uprising members that didn't understand the meaning of "I'M ON YOUR SIDE, YOU MORON!"

Even someone like Zim could guess things were about to turn so very wrong.

There wasn't a trace of Dib anywhere near the prison area. Also, the Massive's circuitry was off, so he couldn't log in and check the new arrivals. He then started to run randomly through the corridors, hoping for a stroke of luck. So far, he was only presented with some Massive's guards and some extremist rebels to fight. He welcomed both as a good way to get rid of his anxiety. Removing his pak always let him in a frazzled and trigger-happy state.

He found himself in some sort of bay area, where huge windows looked down to the Massive's main bridge. There was an unusual amount of activity down there, he realized with a frown. There were dozens of very small Irkens, all carrying weapons, all turned to the Tallests hovering platform, where another tiny Irken was giving a speech, his arms raised in the air. The crowd cheered, then parted. And to Zim's horror, he saw their prisoners.

There was 777 and that idiot of an orange-eyed Squeaky scientist, but he didn't threw them a second glance. There, all tied up on the floor and beaten to near death were the Tallests.

Zim narrowed his eyes and hissed. Even though he knew they were jerks who had tried to kill him several times, to see them being reduced to nothing by a bunch of unworthy traitors woke up something fierce inside him. He took out his paklegs and cut a perfect square in the window. Then, silently, he climbed down and hid in the huge wires near the roof. From there, he could hear almost everything.

'The time has come, my brothers!' shouted the small leader with a raised fist. 'See what we managed to do! The Tallests are down and the Empire is ours for the taking!'

The traitors cheered as one. Zim sneered and stopped listening to that dookie. He got closer and closer, making sure to keep hidden among the wires.

'I was once a table-headed service drone, but now look at how the Tallests cower at my feet! This gun, here,' said the leader while brandishing the large weapon, 'can deactivate a pak's functions! Look at how defenseless the Tallests are when we cut their offensive weapons! With this, we are invincible!' shouted the leader.

'You fool!' shouted 777 with overdone drama. 'I created this to help you and your rebellion for equality, not for extermination!'

'Equality? We don't care for equality! We want to take control and dominate the ones who persecuted US! It's time for the Small Empire to take over!'

'All hail the Tiniest!' cheered the crowd.

'And now, watch as I put an end to those oppressors…' said the Tiniest with a malevolent smile, pointing the beaten down Tallests with the gun.

Zim frowned, things were getting out of hand. His muscles clenched, ready to jump, when:

'All hail the Tiniest!' shouted a new voice.

Every head turned towards the entrance to see the new arrival. It was another ridiculously tiny Irken holding a metallic box and trying to walk despite the weight of it.

'My Tiniest!' chirped the little one. 'I am part of the team that raided the armory, and we found something that would please you!'

That immediately caught the Tiniest's attention. He let the gun down and approached the new arrival with a happy smile.

'Your leader is pleased,' he said with a giddy smile. 'What is your name, soldier?'

'Troy, my Tiniest,' said the Irken while dropping the box at his leader's feet. 'At your service.'

'I will remember your name, soldier Troy. Now, shoo! Lemme open it!'

He frantically waved Troy off, and little Troy scurried away. All eyes were turned towards the leader, so no one noticed that little Troy got out of there as soon as his little feet could carry him. From his point of view, though, Zim saw it and narrowed his eyes. Something was going on.

The Tiniest gleefully opened the locks, and the lid came out with a hissing sound. He stared at the content and blinked, then his face lit up in a happy smile. He slowly took out his present, and held it at arm-length to present it to the crowd. They cheered as one. But, among the rejoicing, some faces showed different reactions. Kinn blinked. Tallest Red opened his eyes in horror. Tallest Purple let out a pathetic whimper and slowly tried to crawl away.

And up there, hidden in the wires, Zim was smiling evilly.

"Never thought I'd be this happy to see that brainless tin can," snickered the Irken to himself.

'Watch, my friends!' shouted the Tiniest with pride, displaying the dysfunctional SIR unit. 'Your leader is now as powerful as an Invader!'

The crowd cheered once again, which made GIR giggle and wave around. Zim moved a bit, his pak thinking gear going into overdrive. If GIR was there, there was a possibility that his Dib-thing wasn't far. He did leave the mechanical monster with his human after all. Maybe he was hiding in the armory, or contained someplace else in the ship, maybe…

Then, he remembered something. Troy. The Irken had said his name was Troy.

The name tickled some memory, rooted deep inside of him. Not a memory from his pak, but from his own amazing superior brain. He got the feeling he heard that either at school or on human teevee, since he recorded neither of them in his pak, so as not to overfill his precious memory space with useless information.

Troy… an ancient city from the pathetic human history. A war, a wooden horse. A trap.

His maniacal smile came back full force. Only his Dib would see the humor in such a lame joke. If Dib was there and able to work plans such as this, then he was alive and well. He'd get his Dib back, and that thought filled him with a giddiness he'd rather die than admit to anyone.

But before that, he needed to get his Tallest.

He frowned when he looked below. The Tinest was still talking and GIR was simply waving like a British queen, relishing the attention. That wouldn't do. Zim took out his communicator.

'GIR,' he whispered while hiding further in the wires.

Down below, GIR's eyes turned red, but no one really noticed.

'Yes master!' he saluted.

The crowd cheered louder. The idiots thought he was referring to the Tiniest. HA! thought Zim. GIR would only acknowledge Zim a his master! Because Zim was amazing! And kept feeding him tacos, admitted reluctantly the alien. But still, amazing!

'GIR, I'm sorry to tell you that,' said Zim with his most contrite voice. 'But the President Man just called… They cancelled the scary-monkey show.'

The scream that followed could have broken the space-time continuum. The Tiniest got the full blast of it and couldn't help but to drop GIR. Bad idea. The SIR unit started running around, yelling like a hysterical moose and destroying everything in his path. Chaos ensued, and soon every Irken was running for cover.

Zim smirked and climbed down the wires, crouched among the panicked crowd and crept until he reached his Tallest. Both of them were trying to crawl out of the desperate GIR's path, terrified beyond reason.

'My Tallest!' called Zim when he reached Purple's side.

Purple let out a panicked yell that was drowned in the general tantrum.

'You!' shouted Red with venom. 'All of this is your fault!'

'You captured what was mine!' hissed Zim over the noise.

'What are you talking about?' shouted back Red.

'My human! My Kribliss! You stole him from ZIM!'

'What? Why would we steal your pathetic Earthian?' whined Purple. 'You know we can't do something like this without losing our Tallest privileges!'

'But that's what you wanted, right?' snapped Red. 'You wanted to overthrow us so you could take our places!'

'Nonsense!' spat back Zim. 'Zim would have done so more efficiently! He'd be the one standing with the power, now!'

'He does have a point,' noted Purple, shooting a glance at the cowering Tiniest on the platform. GIR was busy waving a chainsaw around. Zim didn't really want to find out where it came from.

Red narrowed his eyes and went back to Zim.

'I think we've all been fooled,' he growled. 'How about we go someplace less crowded to discuss it?'

Zim nodded and took off their electronic shackles. They all crept out of the room, Zim killing the Irkens that noticed them. He let a relieved sigh when they finally were out of sight and sound. He spared a thought for 777 and maybe that stupid idiot of a Squeaky scientist, but quickly brushed them off. He had no time for this, better trust them to get away safely, or at least, alive.

Zim started running, trying to find a safe place to hide the Tallest. Both of them followed him, all too aware of their malfunctioning paks.

'How about giving us guns, just in case?' asked Purple in a worried tone.

'Zim doesn't trust you,' shouted the Invader over his shoulder. 'You'd shoot him in the back!'

'Just one?' asked Purple. 'Each?'

'You're no better,' interrupted Red. 'You are armed and we're not, how can we be sure this isn't a plot to get your revenge?'

Zim stopped and peered over a corner, before going back to the Tallest with narrowed eyes.

'Zim had many chances of destroying you,' he hissed. 'Zim could have left you over there to die, but Zim-'

'-will calmly surrender the Tallest to the Uprising,' completed a new, female voice.

They all turned around to see a dozen of Uprising members, pointing their guns at them. Tak was in the middle of them, smirking evilly.

'You!' spat Zim. 'You tricked me!'

'All is fair in war, Zim,' snickered Tak. 'Now, surrender the Tallest and we'll let you go back to your human.'

'Zim refuses to obey you, stinky female!' he shouted.

'Zim, don't become an obstacle, I would hate to kill you,' warned Tak with a smirk.

She got out her communicator while her troops surrounded Zim and the Tallests.

'My Almighty Smallest?' she called. 'We've cornered and surrounded the Tallests, but Zim is in the way. Requesting permission to eliminate the obstacle.'

* * *

'Twelve!' shouted Dib when another Irken fell to the ground under his laser fire.

'I've got to admit,' said Sizz-Lorr over the yells of battle, 'that you lead a mean fight, for a human. But not good enough! Fifteen!'

'You've got pak legs!' shouted back Dib while taking cover behind a fallen console. 'And rocket launchers on your shoulders!'

'It's not my fault that your species suck!' snickered the fry lord, shooting the last of the attackers. 'Eighteen!'

'I'll show you, next time,' growled Dib while getting up once again and dusting off the jacket of his space suit.

Skoodge advanced carefully and made sure their opponents were no menace anymore. The smoking holes in their bodies and paks were proof enough.

'We can proceed,' he waved to Sizz-Lorr, Dib, and the handful of Uprising members following them.

They advanced towards the center of the Massive, only needing to fight twice more. The first time, there were Massive soldiers, and then more traitors to the cause. Dib didn't know which ones were harder to kill, the tall ones with extra weaponry or the small ones, too fast for his aim. And when the adrenalin rush wore off, there was always this intense worry for Zim that kept him in the verge of panic.

Then, Skoodge's communicator beeped.

'My Almighty Smallest?' said a voice.

'Yes Tak?' asked Skoodge.

'We've cornered and surrounded the Tallest, but Zim is in the way. Requesting permission to eliminate the obstacle.'

Dib's eyes went pop and he turned around to watch Skoodge's frown.

'What do you mean, in the way?' he repeated.

'He's standing in front of the two defenseless Tallests and pointing his gun at me.'

'Well, can you reason with him? Negotiate?'

'I tried, but he refuses to cooperate. He's an obstacle, Skoodge. We need the Tallests more than anything. Just give the order.'

Skoodge stayed silent for a moment, then opened his mouth to answer. But a click interrupted him. He turned around, surprised to see a gun pointed to his face. Dib's conflicted eyes were not that much of a surprise, though.

'My Kribliss, mine to kill,' simply stated the human.

Skoodge nodded slowly, understanding the situation.

'Release them,' he said to the communicator.

'What?' shouted Tak indignantly. 'But we got them! It's just a matter of removing one flimsy obstacle, and-'

'Soldier Tak, this is an order,' repeated Skoodge with more authority. 'Release Zim and the Tallests at once!'

'…Yes, my Almighty Smallest,' she growled. 'You heard the boss! Release the prisoners!' she shouted at her troops.

Skoodge shut off the communicator and turned towards Dib, who was still aiming at his head, his face now resolute. Sizz-Lorr and the other Irkens were all pointing their own weapons at the human, waiting for a signal.

'You understand that we cannot continue together, Dib,' said Skoodge with a saddened expression.

'I know that.'

'Run, now. Go find him. And try to get out of here alive, both of you.'

The human nodded and took off. Skoodge stopped his men from shooting, and saw him disappear in the innards of the Massive. The human was all alone, now.

* * *

The author is fully aware that the amount of running in the Massive's corridors is getting to an annoying amount, but bear in mind that the Massive is, as mentioned in the very first chapter, a bigger ship than you could ever imagine. Mere walking wouldn't suffice for a story of this length. Also, there is a war going inside of it, so, logically, there are people running left and right. Irkens, most of them. Some loyal to the Empire, some traitors to the Empire, some traitors to the traitors. And, among this pandemonium of green skin, blue lasers and pink blood, ran a lone human, trying very hard to look for the only Irken that wasn't part of any of these groups.

Years of training against the most destructive and determined Irken that ever was allowed Dib to hold his own against a good deal of opponents. He was almost disappointed by the lack of challenge.

'Aren't you supposed to be the Elite?' he shouted to a group of uniform clad soldiers from his hiding spot. 'I've had more challenge coming from my planet's hamsters!'

'Silence, scum!' shouted one of them. 'Surrender to the Empire!'

'Oh yeah, like I'm going to obey you guys, when even my own lover can't make me do it!' snickered Dib.

The adrenaline rush felt great, he'd missed it. It would be better it if was Zim, though, he realized. Maybe he'd try to convince his Invader to try and take over the Earth once in a while… The sex afterwards would be incredible, thought Dib with a maniacal grin.

Okay, now he really needed to find Zim.

He got rid of the annoying Elite soldiers and resumed his running, ears alert to any kind of sound. Explosions, hysterical screams and demented laughter would be even better. He knew the chances of finding a single Irken were slim, but with Zim, it was a whole different story.

He was surprised, though, to recognize Irkens that weren't even supposed to be inside the ship.

'Captain Taty!' he shouted, running towards the Squeaky crew and hoping there weren't any enemies hidden in the-

'DIE, HUMAN FIL-'

ZAP!

Oh well, Bass took care of that.

He jogged and smiled at the diminutive mercenary.

'Thanks,' he smiled. 'So, what are you guys up to?'

'Looking for our table,' answered shortly Taty.

'Yeah, we hate to misplace furniture,' joked Bass. 'Now we have to place our stuff all over the floor.'

'You shouldn't find that too far to reach,' joked Dib, tagging along.

'My, aren't we feeling suicidal, today,' noted Bass, jabbing the human's knee with the tip of his gun.

'No killing the human,' warned Taty without sparing them a glance.

Blo walked by and nodded to Dib. The human was surprised to see the diplomat carrying a gun, the tip of a charged spider-leg ready over his shoulder. Miik waved without much energy and didn't spare him a second glance. Their small group marched silently until they reached a door leading to the main bridge.

They stood there, watching the carnage for a moment.

'Are you sure she's in there?' asked Dib with a frown.

'It's the worse place to be at this moment,' answered logically Taty. 'Of course, she's in there.'

'I'm sure Kinn would have found a way-' started the human.

'Spare your saliva, the big guy found her,' interrupted Bass.

Blo was pointing to the center of the room where hundreds of Irkens were busy fighting or running away from GIR.

'Wait, how can you be sure? There's so much green!' asked Dib.

'You think we Irkens look all the same, huh?' sneered Bass.

'No, my Irken is sexier,' threw back Dib.

'Please spare me,' muttered Miik.

'Don't you hear the shrieks?' asked the Captain. 'The pitch is three times higher than the others. That's our table. You coming, human?'

'I need to find Zim,' said Dib, shaking his head. 'I know he's somewhere with the Tallest.'

'I wish you the best of luck, then. Do try to get out of here alive.'

'Yeah,' said Bass, rolling his eyes. 'If you don't, the table would never let us hear the end of it!'

'You guys take care!' waved Dib, running away to find his own alien.

He wandered the hallways a moment, a little bit lost. He knew Zim was safe, but had no idea where to find him. If he was with the Tallest, they were surely well hidden, so his lame human sight, hearing and knowledge of the ship would not help much. His exasperated sigh was interrupted by a beeping sound coming from his front pocket. He dug in and took out a communicator, happy to see that Tak had thought of everything.

'Hello?' he asked, turning it on.

'Dib!' said the stern voice of Captain Taty. 'We need your help!'

'What, already? But I was only gone for five-'

'Someone has found a way to disconnect paks,' she interrupted with some emergency. 'It's a gun as long as your arm, purple and blue with "Priscilla" engraved on the side. Bass and Blo managed to stop the guy from shooting everyone, but he ran off in your direction.'

'Are you guys okay?' asked Dib, worried.

'No, we are not,' she said in a deadly cold voice, before cutting the communication.

Dib stood there a moment, staring at the silent communicator. But a moment later, tiny footsteps interrupted his thoughts. A small Irken, carrying a mean looking purple and blue gun, was running straight at him.

* * *

'Miik?' shouted Captain Taty, after closing the communication.

They were hidden under the central platform, and two members of her crew were baldy shot. Blo was bleeding from the side of his face, but she could see that the nanomachines inside his pak were busy repairing it all. As for Miik…

The pilot looked pale and shaken, despite a total lack of injuries. She was staring, horrified, at the disconnected pak she was gripping.

'Miik, in the name of Irk, what were you thinking?' asked frantically the Captain, almost throwing herself next to her pilot.

'I… Better me than you, Captain,' muttered the smaller female.

'Did I ever give you permission to jump in front of a blast aimed at me? Did I? I thought members of my crew weren't that stupid!'

'Not like I had time to think-' she started, petulantly.

'If you ladies are done with the drama,' shouted Bass from the entrance of their hiding place, never stopping a moment from his frantic shooting, 'I just spotted our hysterical table over there! You might want to tell her we're here!'

'Yes, yes,' muttered Taty, frazzled. She opened her communicator: 'Kinn?'

'CAPTAIN!' she yelled with a high-pitched voice. 'CAPTAIN, PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE HEEEEEEEERE!'

'Calm down, Kinn,' ordered the Captain. 'We are under the main platform. Come quickly, there is an emergency.'

'…yes, my Captain…' she whimpered, before shutting off her communicator.

Taty went back to Miik, who was turning paler by the second.

'Please tell me it's the nerves,' muttered the Captain, placing a hand on her forehead and shuddering at the coldness found there.

'I don't feel so good,' said the pilot, lifting her pak a bit. 'Can you reattach it? I'd feel loads better if you did…'

'All connections are shut down, I don't have the knowledge… But Kinn is on her way.'

'Yeah, she's crawling over here all right,' cut in Bass between two shots. 'Never seen a table walk this slowly before. You told her to hurry?'

'She's in the middle of a battlefield,' said Taty, distraught.

'I'm not sure I'd want her to poke around my pak,' muttered Miik.

'Blo? Your status?' asked the Captain.

The tall Irken waved a hand dismissively. He seemed tired, but that was the extend of it. Taty, having nothing else to do at the moment, went back to her pilot.

'Miik?' she muttered. 'Smeetie, how are you feeling?'

'Cold,' shuddered the smaller one. 'When is that idiot coming in?'

'Soon enough. Listen, I-'

'Incoming table and Vortian!' announced Bass, letting both of them inside the already crowded place.

'CAPTAIN!' squealed Kinn, overjoyed and relieved. The Vortian nodded at them, trying not to get his horns stuck in the wiring above him.

'Kinn, we need your help. Miik got her pak shut down. Can you repair this?'

'…NO? I'm pretty sure I can't!'

'Kinn, please!'

'But-but… my Captain!' wailed Kinn with her little voice. 'You forbid me too… I mean, I… I'm… I'm not good enough! I'm just a dumb TABLE! And not even a good one! I'm not even worthy enough to get CHAIRS!' she shrieked.

'KINN!' cut the Captain. 'Cut this nonsense! Listen, I'm reinstating you, you heard me? You got promoted.'

'I- I'm a scientist again?' whimpered the little orange-eyed one, feeling her pak change status automatically.

'Yes! Now do something for Miik before she dies!'

'Yea… Yes, my Captain!' she saluted. 'Seven? Help!'

'Of course, milady,' nodded the Vortian.

Miik saw both of them approach with weary eyes and tried to crawl back a bit, but found a wall behind her.

'I'm not so sure about this anymore,' she muttered through her drowsiness.

'How much time is there left?' asked Kinn, gently removing the pak from Miik's weakening fingers.

'Five minutes and thirty seven seconds,' answered Taty.

'Not enough, I'm afraid,' said 777, opening the main hatch and peering inside. 'We'd need at least another twenty-'

'Ten,' cut the Captain.

And before any of them could react, she disconnected her own pak, turned Miik around and slammed it on the empty connectors.

'What- WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?' screeched the pilot with a renewed vigor.

'I bought us some time.'

'You chewed me out for taking a bullet for you and you do this? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? You're the Captain, we're supposed to take hits for you, not the other way around!'

'AND YOU ARE MY KRIBLISS! DON'T YOU SEE I HAVE TO DIE FOR YOU?'

The silence would have been deafening if it weren't for the constant sound of lasers, yelling and GIR's hysterical laughter in the background. No one dared look at the Captain, except Miik. The pilot's blue eyes were shining with tears of rage.

'You just don't get it, do you?' she whispered between her bared teeth.

Taty just stared back without flinching. Kinn and 777 were frantically trying to repair Miik's pack, Bass was savagely guarding their hiding spot, Blo was slowly healing.

The carnage kept going all around them, GIR's hysterical laughter among all the screams of terror.

* * *

_AN:Cookie points to those who guessed the Tiniest was table-headed service drone Bob. There's just so much anger inside such a little Irken..._

_Not a lot of chapters left. The problem is that I still have to write the lasts two ones, so it might take a while before I manage to put an end to this civil war. Because lots of stuff need to happen still.. I mean, what of the Tallests? Will Zim and Dib ever find each other? Will GIR kill everyone on board? What of Kinn's and 777 epic love story? What's up with Miik? Which faction will win this war? Will there be any Irken left when Dib and Zim are done killing everyone? WHO'S DRIVING THE MASSIVE? _

_...Where are the Invaders?_


	9. A room with a Moose

_AN: Alright, I lied. I finished writing the Uprising the same day I said I wouldn't. You shouldn't wait too long between updates, as of now._

_Also, HAPPY NEW YEAR! _

_Now, the moment everyone's been waiting for..._

* * *

**Chapter 9 – A room with a Moose**

* * *

Van was an Irken of opportunities. He had joined the Uprising when they promised him equality; he joined the Almighty Smallest's ranks when he was promised power. And when, in the middle of chaos, a shiny purple gun with the engraving "Priscilla" and the power to deactivate paks just fell into his hands, he knew that fate had something bigger planned for him.

Van, the Almighty Smallest. It sounded better than Bob, at any rate.

So currently, life was good for Van. He had managed to struggle his way out of the pandemonium of the main bridge with the powerful weapon and no one was following him. He just needed to find a quiet spot to hide until things quieted down, and then he'd come back and rule them all. No Irken would stand in his path.

He turned a corner and realized that Irkens were not the only obstacles between him and his almighty reign of terror.

He recognized the creature; everyone in the galaxy could name it. Everyone had watched the failed execution of the Squeaky crew, everyone had seen the dysfunctional Invader claim this – this thing, this pet, as his Kribliss.

The only extra-Irken Kribliss in existence since… ever.

And that thing – that human – that Dib, looked a thousand times more menacing when he was not half-naked and handcuffed, and worse, when he was holding a gun and a mean smirk, both pointed at him.

Van was a lot of things, but a brave Irken he was not. He ran.

Dib cackled and started the chase. The tiny Irken was fast, but he was weighed down by Priscilla, easily twice as big as he was.

'Keep running!' shouted Dib, pumped with adrenalin. 'I've done this my whole life!'

With a mean snicker, he fired two warning shots next to Van's feet, aiming to miss. He cackled madly when he heard the panicked yell and saw the Irken run faster. This was proving too much fun, he distractedly thought. A psychiatrist would have a field day with this information, but then, he'd have to explain the whole existence of aliens and the doctors could never get past that little information before sending him to the Crazy House for Boys.

Van turned a corner and yelled his frustration. It was a dead end. He turned around and saw the human catching up, already laughing at his misfortune. Van, proud like only Irkens could be, saw red and fired a dozen times in the human's direction. He did hit him, several times, he was sure of that, saw the rays of light disappear right in his chest, but the human never stopped laughing.

'It would work better if I had a pak!' shouted Dib, gleeful.

Van threw the gun aside and got his pak legs out, raising himself to full height. He hissed at the human.

'This is better,' snickered Dib, getting ready.

* * *

Five minutes later, Dib walked out of the corridor, his clothing ripped in several places, covered in pinkish Irken blood and with a smile wide enough to scare the whole Armada away. He carried the gun over his shoulder, ready to shoot and ask questions later. Things were going great, for once.

Now, he just had to find-

'ZIM!' snapped a voice to his right. 'I keep telling you it is our duty to fight for-'

'My Tallest!' cut in Zim's voice, 'it's way too dangerous over there, they're going to kill you both-'

'No they won't! Just give us your gun and-'

'Why did I even BOTHER?' screeched Zim. 'If you both want to get your paks disconnected, go on! Zim won't stop you this time! I have a Dib to find, so have fun getting pulled into itty-bitty-'

At that moment, they walked around the corner. The Tallest froze, Zim froze, Dib froze.

'YOU!' screeched Zim, pointing an accusing finger at the human. 'WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT GETTING STOLEN AGAIN?'

'I didn't exactly have a choice on the matter!' snapped back Dib, out of habit.

'Who Dibnapped you? I know it's not the Tallest's fault!'  
'It's Tak, but-'

'TAK? You let that insufferable female steal you away from me? I WILL MAKE HER EAT HER OWN SQUEEDLY-SPOOCH!'

'Stop yelling for a moment, they're gonna hear you!' shouted Dib. 'I accepted to join their resistance, they needed me to get you to help-'

'YOU LIED TO ZIM!'

'Yes, I did! Not shut up for a moment and-'

'YOU LET THEM MANIPULATE ZIM INTO DOING THEIR DIRTY JOB! YOU- YOU- You… Why on Irk are you covered in blood?'

Dib stopped his retort and looked down at himself. His space suit was ripped and dirty with bright pink blood, most of it still fresh and dripping. His face and hands were also stained, and he swore he could taste the metallic taste of blood on his lips.

'Huh, I might have killed an Irken. Or twelve.'

Tallest Red frowned, Tallest Purple looked nauseated. But Zim…

Dib stared, unsure about Zim. His Invader was looking at him with an emotion so intense that he couldn't help but shiver. There was something dangerous in the crimson eyes and the way his teeth ground together. He then… licked his lips?

Oh lord, he knew that expression.

He almost expected the firm grip that dragged him by the collar of his suit. He had no other choice but to follow, taking care not to fall splat on his face, because Zim didn't bother with such considerations like his general well-being.

He heard a door opening, got violently pushed inside and heard the door closing behind them with a whoosh. He barely got the time to register where they were, something like a storage room, before he was suddenly suffocated and strangled.

Zim's serpentine tongue invading his mouth, Zim's claws grabbing his neck, pulling his hair, scratching his shoulders and back, Zim's body grinding against him, opening the suit's zipper, frantically searching…

Dib growled and bit sharply Zim's neck, turned them around and took the matter into his own hands. They shared another desperate kiss, removing layers upon layers of clothes, smiling and panting in the dark.

'You're delicious, covered in blood,' snickered Zim, licking a trail on Dib's neck.

'Oh God, you have no idea how horny I've been, killing Irkens left and right,' he whispered next to a trembling antenna.

That seemed to be Zim's undoing. He made a sound, halfway between a growl and a moan, and finally managed to completely lower that stupid zipper.

Outside, both Tallests were looking greener than usual.

'Did you hear that?' whimpered Purple.

'I need to bleach my antennas,' admitted Red.

'What do we do, now? We're pakless and they're using the armory…'

'We wait, I guess,' said Red, unhappy about it. 'It shouldn't take them too long…'

'At least they had the decency to get a room. I was sure for a second he was going to jump him in front of us!'

'Please, Purple! I just ate!'

'You think I'm not on the verge of throwing up? I can hear them moaning!'

'…They're not moaning, they're talking… Wait, they're arguing? They argue while doing it? What kind of sex-life is that?'

'The fun kind, it seems,' mumbled Purpled with a bit of envy. 'Listen to Zim scream!'

'Zim is always screaming.'

'I think he's actually begging…'

A moment of silence. A particularly loud yell made them both snort.

'Didn't know the human had it in him,' snickered Red.

There was a silence. Both of them lifted an antenna.

'You think they're done?' whispered Purple.

'…m'not too sure…'

'IRK YES DO THAT AGAIN!'

'Fuck, Zim! My hair! Stop-'

'Stop talking and make it FASTER you STUPID HUMAN!'

'Get your fucking claws out of my wounds damnit- I'll stop it if-'

'YOU WOULDN'T DARE!'

'WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE AND-'

There was a painful yelp, a whimper, a shout and then, a silence only broken by the repetitive banging of a body against a metallic surface. Outside, both Tallest were halfway between amused and nauseated.

'Red, I'm going to be sick.'

'Let's never mention this again. Ever.'

The relative silence was broken by shouted curses in both English and Irken.

'Ever.'

* * *

On the main bridge, the fight went on. So far, no one had discovered the Squeaky crew's hiding place. Well, a couple of them did, but Bass took care of it with efficiency and a maniacal laugh that the others chose to ignore. Kinn and 777 were frantically trying to repair Miik's pak, whispering to each other and exchanging tools.

Taty was getting paler and paler by the second. She was currently lying against Blo, shivering and trying to keep her eyes open.

'Time?' she asked weakly.

'One minute and twenty-seven seconds,' answered Miik coolly. 'Kinn, status report?'

'Almost done Capt- I mean, Miik!' squeaked the orange-eyed scientist.

'Why don't you give her back her pak, so we can get another ten minutes?' asked 777, connecting two wires.

'It is not so simple, Vortian,' answered Miik with a serious expression almost identical to the Captain's. 'This pak in not attuned to my biochemistry. I would have barely thirty seconds of life before collapsing.'

'Yeah, we'll need to do this reaaaaally quick,' muttered Kinn between her teeth. 'Seven, hand me the watchamacallit.'

'There, my lady. Hold this, I have to fix the thingie there…'

At that moment, Taty closed her eyes and fell forward. Blo catched her and shared a worried expression with Miik.

'KINN!' urged the pilot. 'Now!'

'Done, Captain!' squeaked Kinn, closing the hatch.

Miik wasted no time. She removed Taty's pack and slammed it back on its rightful place. Kinn did the same with Miik's pak. The Captain remained unconscious, and a worried frown crossed Miik's face, before a violent shudder shook her whole. Her body was quickly dying.

And suddenly, the most beautiful sound reached her antennas. Her spinal connectors found her pak, connected with a delicious mechanical snap!

'Captain? Miik?' asked Kinn with a little worried voice.

Blo shook the Captain's body a bit, his usually proud antennas flattening against his head. He threw a sideway glace at the scientists and opened his mouth to ask a question, when the Captain's red eyes snapped open. She sat up and coughed pink blood.

'Captain!' squealed Kinn. 'You're alive!'

'Barely,' coughed Taty.

She disentangled herself from Blo's grip and crawled towards Miik. The pilot sat up, pushed her away and vomited on the floor, right next to Kinn. The scientist let out an undignified shriek, but it got drowned by the horrible noises coming from the battle right above them.

'…my shoes!' she whimpered and crawled back to 777.

'Miik?' asked Taty.

'I'm fine, Captain,' answered the pilot in a raspy voice. 'I'm fine.'

'Good,' she nodded, a wave of relief washing over her. She straightened up and her face hardened before facing the rest of her crew. 'I know we each voted to be part of this rebellion, but the situation has changed. There are traitors among the cause and we will be targeted for our height, if not for our allegiance with Skoodge. Any suggestions about the next course of action?'  
'Yes!' whimpered Kinn, raising her hand. 'How about we get out of here?'

'Noted. Anything else?'

'I'd stay,' grumbled Bass. 'Thinks are ugly, yeah, but it's still our Empire.'

Blo merely nodded his assent.

'That son of a Vortian Tiniest needs to get his pak handed back to him,' grumbled Miik, getting back her sour mood.

777 blinked at hearing "son of a Vortian", but didn't comment on the expression.

'I shall depart, then,' he said with a sidelong glance at Kinn. 'I still have to reactivate the teleporters, then my work will be done.'

'You may go then, we'll cover you,' said Taty, holding her gun.

'My lady…?' asked 777, taking Kinn's hand in his.

'Kinn?' asked Taty, a lifted antenna. 'Do you wish to go with him?'

'…What?' whimpered the scientist, her orange eyes getting wider by the second.

'You can, you know,' said Taty with a solemn expression. 'It's your choi-'

'DON'T SAY IT!' shrieked Kinn. 'DON'T!'

She clenched her eyes shut and gripped 777's hand with all her strength.

'I'm… sorry, Seven,' she whimpered. 'I-'

'I understand,' he answered with a sweet smile. 'You have your crew, and your people.'

She merely nodded, biting her lower lip, her eyes filling with tears and her antennas trembling. Somewhere in the background, Bass started to make small retching sounds, but thankfully, they couldn't be heard over the commotion.

'Will… will I see you again?' she whispered.

'If we are both still alive, yes,' he smiled.

He squeezed her hand one last time and left their hiding place, quickly getting lost in the sea of green bodies and pink blood.

'Kinn, you still with us?' asked Taty, grabbing her gun.

'…I guess so…' she whispered. Then, she seemed to remember herself and straightened up. 'I mean, yes Captain!'

Taty smiled at that and threw a look at the rest of her crew.

'Shall we?' she smirked, pointing the bloodbath right outside.

* * *

The armory door opened and Zim stepped out, a manic look on his face. Dib followed soon enough, chuckling and, for Irk's sake, _stretching_. They both stopped abruptly when they saw the Tallests simply sitting on the floor, backs against the wall. They both had skeptical looks on their faces.

'You done, now?' snapped Red, antennas flying up.

'It's not like there's a war or something going on,' added Purple with heavy sarcasm.

Dib tried not to blush, but it failed miserably. He also couldn't wipe the grin on his face. Man, that had been something. He sent a look to Zim, who winked at him and licked his lips. Before the Tallests could complain some more, the Invader threw them both deadly-looking weapons with a smug grin.

'Was about time,' grumbled Red, getting up. 'I hate not being armed in my own ship.'

'Still, I'd prefer my pak legs,' complained Purple.

'How come they get weapons?' asked Dib distractedly, not really back from his cloud of happiness. 'Aren't we supposed to, like, kill them or something?'

'Hm? Oh, Zim doesn't want his Tallests dead, not really,' shrugged the Invader, pulling on his wrinkled tunic.

'What about Skoodge and the Uprising? Are we changing sides?'

'Zim has his OWN side!' cackled the alien, pulling Dib closer. 'But I can share it with my possessions, so it's your side too.'

'Possessions?' snorted Dib without scorn. 'We'll see about who owns whom here, just come back in the armory storage two minutes…'

'Not AGAIN!' shouted Purple, stomping his foot. 'I will not wait a moment longer after you two! I'm feeling sick enough!'

'He's right, you two are nauseating,' grumbled Red. 'I don't know about you, but Purple and I are taking the ship, and the Empire, back.'

'We are?' asked Purple. 'Do we really have to take back the Empire? Not that I don't like being an Almighty Tallest, but without our paks, we're gonna end up dead and probably crucified in seconds!'

'What's wrong with your paks?' asked Dib with a frown.

'They got deactivated,' grumbled Red. 'We can't access anything, only the life support works.'

'I could arrange that, I'm good with paks,' shrugged Dib.

'You are?' asked Red suspiciously.

'Yeah, I disassembled and reassembled Zim's often enough to know my way around one. Irken technology is kind of a hobby of mine…'

'I don't know, Red,' whispered Purple with no subtlety whatsoever, 'maybe he's not that good, and that's why Zim's so… weird…'

'Zim is NOT weird!' shouted the Invader.

'No, I'm pretty sure he was like that before,' sighed Red. 'Alright human, start with me, and be VERY cautious. If anything happens to me, Purple will shoot you both.'

'Gladly!' smiled Purple.

'Alright, I get it,' said Dib, rolling his eyes. 'Just step in here, the hallway is too open-'

'What? In there? But you just… copulated in there! No way! Ew! No-no-no!' shouted Purple.

'Then I'll be quick,' grumbled Dib, rolling his eyes once more. 'Turn around, you, and let me open your pak.'

Red did so, placed his hands against the wall, and started wondering if this was a good idea. When the central hatch opened, he started getting nervous. When the human started poking around, letting out breathy whispers of "Awesome! This is so different than Zim's pak in so many ways!", he got downright terrified.

Zim, smiling evilly next to him, didn't help either.

* * *

_AN: I almost feel sorry for Red and Purple. _

_Stay tuned, we're close to the end! Two chapters and an epilogue left!_

_Love you all, you guys, I simply adore the fact that you're still reading this after so long! And the reviews! Lovely reviews! They warm my soul!_


	10. Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain

_AN: Surprise for you all (or the two readers I have left...) I'M POSTING THE END OF THIS FIC TONIGHT. TWO CHAPTERS AND THE EPILOGUE. Yes, finally. Hang on to your antennas._

* * *

**Chapter 10- Invasion of the idiot dog brain**

* * *

The Massive had become a battlefield. The walls were painted with pink blood and charred with laser holes. The air was loud with screams of rage and pain, it was heavy with the acrid smell of fresh burned corpses. It was a battle of green against green, a war of allies against friends. A lone Vortian scientist had really nothing to do in that general pandemonium. It was not his war and, no matter the outcome, he was sure that the blow to the Empire would be severe enough that his homeworld would find a way to be freed. He did what he could to help his fellow imprisoned Vortians, the least he could do now was flee the carnage before losing his horns over a civil war that did not concern him.

Still… there was this bright orange-eyed Irken girl…

But she had chosen to stay and fight, and he could only commend her bravery. He only hoped they would both be alive at the end of all this, and if they were, he would take her out on a date. Foodcourtia seemed like a good idea.

He scurried through the halls, his pointy legs making a clicking sound on the metallic floor. He reached the teleporter room and was glad to find it empty. Well, there were two unconscious Irkens behind the main console, but he quickly stepped over them to reach the controls.

He frowned. The teleporters were offline. It was not supposed to happen; he had made sure that his general system deactivation did not include the teleporters. Someone had tampered with the programming, and that was after the Uprising troops had gotten in the ship. After digging deeper in the programming, he found a code blocking all homing signals and stopping anyone from contacting the main ship. They were currently in the equivalent of a fortified city. Or a prison. Where all prisoners were happily killing each other.

777 started typing frantically to override the coding. It took a moment, but he finally managed to unlock it. He started to type the coordinates of his home world, but stopped. Vort was a prison planet, still infested with Irkens. He would be caught and thrown back into his cell. But he had nowhere else to go…

While he hesitated, the teleporter was activated and a bright light lit the room for a second, blinding 777. He blinked and found himself face to face with a charged spider leg. A fierce looking female Irken was staring him down.

'Who are you?' she asked impetuously. 'What is happening on this ship?'

777 took a step back and shivered. This Irken was wearing an Invader uniform. Next to her, an angry looking SIR unit was powering up its weapons.

'I am prisoner 777, of Vort,' he quickly answered. 'There is a revolution going on. Not that it concerns me, I'm just-'

At that moment, another bright light interrupted him. And another, and another. A moment later, there were twelve Invaders stepping down from the platform. Each and every one of them were carrying weapons and followed by SIR units ready to attack.

'Situation, Tenn?' asked an Irken with an enormous forehead decorated with a band aid.

'Spleen,' nodded the first one without taking her eyes off of 777. 'Security of the Massive is compromised by intern forces, probably a civil war.'

'What about the Tallests?' asked a purple-eyed female with angular antennas.

'You heard Zee,' growled Tenn, shoving the charged spider leg in 777's face. 'What about the Tallests?'

'I don't know about the Tallests!' shouted back the Vortian. 'I just came in with Zim-'

A collective gasp shook the Invaders.

'Zim is here!' growled one.

'This is probably his fault!'

'Don't be foolish, Zim cold never stage something that big.'

'No sane Irken would follow him.'

'Never mind this, we have to get moving!' snapped Tenn. 'Flobee, any info about the Tallests' location?'

'Computers are down,' answered a pessimist-looking Invader from the nearest console. 'Even the Control Brains are deactivated!' he added with a gasp.

'Not deactivated, merely sleeping,' corrected 777.

Tenn took out a mean looking gun from her pak and pressed the tip between the Vortian's beady eyes.

'If you damaged our Control Brains in any way, Vortian-' she hissed.

'Wait, Tenn!' shouted Zee. 'If he did something to them, we need him to repair it!'

'I hate it when you're right,' growled Tenn, not removing her gun. 'Someone cuff him, we'll take him with us.'

Larb quickly cuffed 777's hands behind him. The Vortians sighed. It seemed he was, once again, a prisoner of Irk.

* * *

Zim was supposed to stand guard while both Dib and the Tallests were incapacitated, but he couldn't stop himself from staring at the gleeful human, wrists deep inside Tallest Red's pak. There was a maniacal energy coming from his Kribliss, something he recalled fondly from their earlier fights, when he was merely a boy learning about a new alien technology. Dib had later –much, much later- admitted that he longed for another intellectual challenge like that. It seemed the geeky genius had finally found a match inside the ultra complicated circuits of a Tallest's pak.

'Aaaaand DONE!' squealed the teenager, closing the hatch with a resounding _snap_.

Tallest Red stepped back from the wall and slowly took out his spider legs, relishing in the ability to do so. He even lit up the tips, stared at both Zim and Dib for a moment, then put them back inside his pak.

'Not bad, human. I'm impressed. Purple, you're up.'

Purple threw an uneasy glance at Dib and turned around, braced against the wall.

'If you could work faster, human, it would be appreciated,' mumbled Red, watching wearily around them.

'Not that fast, though,' pointed Purple.

'Shouldn't be too long,' muttered Dib between his teeth, 'now that I actually understand how it works-'

'HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!' yelled a powerful female voice.

They all turned around to see half a dozen Invaders pointing their charged pak legs at them, and as many SIR units, all eyes glowing red.

Dib was suddenly aware of what if looked like, a human, and not any human, both hands inside a Tallest's pak. He frowned, glanced once at Zim, and went back to work. He had his own Invader to protect him, and he was by far the best. Or at least, the deadliest.

'I said HOLD IT!' yelled the female.

'Invaders, stand down!' growled Red.

At Dib's surprise, he saw from the corner of his eye all Invaders recalling pak legs and SIR units and standing to attention. Zim had never been that professional.

'My Tallests!' saluted the female.

'Invader Tenn,' nodded Red. 'Invaders Grapa, Kim, Skutch, Spleen and Sneakyonfoota. I am pleased to see you finally decided to join us.'

'Please forgive our tardiness, my Tallests. It seems the rebel scum managed to override most of our circuitry, but we caught the Vortian scientist responsible and we currently hold him prisoner.'

'Let him go!' hissed Zim.

Red shot him an annoyed look, as if taking orders from him in front of the other Invaders was not even an idea worth considering. Dib lifted his head from Purple's pak a second.

'You owe us, big guy,' he stated, matter of fact. 'And you wouldn't want me to slip, now would you?'

Red narrowed his eyes at the non subtle threat, but Purple took care of the situation.

'Let the Vortian go!' he ordered. 'We can reestablish everything after we take care of that silly war and make every last of these rebels serve curly fries at Foodcourtia FOREVER!'

It was Zim's turn to twitch with annoyance, but he remained miraculously silent. Red turned to the Invaders.

'You heard your Tallest. Priorities are to regain control of the ship and the Empire, neutralize every Irken that is not loyal to us no matter their affiliation and eliminate that Tiniest once and for all. No, better. Leave him to me.'

'Yes, my Tallests!' saluted the Invaders at once before scattering.

Red turned back to their little group just in time to see Dib closing Purple's hatch.

'Don't try anything,' warned Zim.

'I don't have time for either of you,' sneered Red. 'Purple, come along. We have an Empire to take back.'

Purple gleefully took out his spider legs and followed Red down the corridor.

'I have a better idea. How about, instead of making them serve curly fries, we make _them_ into curly fries?'

Dib and Zim stood there a moment, seemingly lost.

'Want to head home?' asked the Invader.

'Home?… Hey, I just realized,' said the teenager. 'Tonight is prom night!'

'So? Sad you weren't able to dance with _Gretchen_?' bit back Zim.

Dib had the galls to laugh out loud. He then turned around and took one of Zim's hands between his own gloved ones.

'Zim, tonight is our prom, and I may have only this blood covered space suit to wear instead of a tux, and nothing much to give you for a boutonnière, but I'd be honored if you would accompany me to a safe spot where we could grab some popcorn and admire the carnage.'

Zim looked at him with big sappy eyes for a moment, and fell in love with that stupid human all over again. He smiled a smile full of razor sharp teeth.

'Zim would be glad. And if you insinuate once more that I am the _girl_ in this, I will dismember you and make you sleep on the couch for the next three years.'

Dib just laughed and presented his arm for Zim to take, which Zim ignored.

* * *

'This… this is a lot less fun than what I imagined,' admitted Dib.

Zim had brought them back to the bay area overlooking the main bridge, and was noisily munching on a mouthful of popcorn they had absolutely no trouble to find inside an Irken ship. To his displeasure, though, the human seemed to have lost both enthusiasm and appetite. And libido, which was tragic.

'What do you mean?' asked Zim with his mouth full. 'I find this hilarious!'

'I don't know, I can see the Squeaky members from here and I can't help worrying.'

'It's their choice to fight, like it's ours to… not to.'

'Yeah, I get that, but those SIR units are really too good! See? There's another Uprising member dead!'

Let's take a moment to recall the proceedings of this civil war, or, at least, what Dib and Zim were currently watching like daytime television. The main bridge had been taken over by the Tiniest troops, which were suddenly under attack from a frantic GIR. Then, they had been found by members of the Uprising and started fighting between themselves. GIR, who had a worse attention span than a prepubescent human boy on sugar, had forgotten about what had made him so heartbroken in the first place and was now busy randomly destroying equipment and laughing at the pretty sparks. The Squeaky crew had joined the Uprising ranks, but then the Invaders and their SIR units had joined the fight, alongside the Tallests. It was utter bloody pandemonium.

'At least no one's deactivating paks anymore,' muttered Dib, safely guarding Priscilla the gun.

Zim could see that his human was sad and moody, and couldn't stop himself from getting sad and moody too. Curse those humans, he thought, they have contagious emotions!

'You're getting all mopey again,' complained Zim. 'Explain.'

'I- I just think the war is unbalanced,' grumbled the human. 'All they have are guns and pak legs, but the Invaders have ultra deadly SIR units? How fair is that?'

'War is not supposed to be fair,' shrugged Zim.

'I just wish the little ones had a chance.'

'But they're so tiny!'

'You were tiny once too. And I thought you were the awesomest and most dangerous thing in the galaxy,' commented Dib.

Zim stood silent a moment, his antennas lowered. Then, coming to a decision, he took out his communicator.

'GIR! Come here!' he barked.

A second later, GIR came bursting through the window bay in a maniacal laugh.

'YES, MASTER!' he saluted, before going back to his natural goofy state.

Zim grabbed him, tinkered a moment with his circuits, took out his pak legs and connected him to the Massive wires, tinkered a bit more, stood up suddenly and crossed his arms with an annoyed expression.

'There, you happy?'

'What did you just do?'

'I connected GIR's frequency with every other SIR units. Now they're all GIR.'

Dib's eyes popped open and he rushed to the window bay to admire the work. It was true, every SIR unit had ceased to attack and were running randomly. He saw one laughing at a dead body, another chasing its own shadow, two playing patty-cake in a corner… Every single Invader was trying to regain control of the robots but were failing to even attract their attention.

'Zim, you are the best,' he grinned.

'Of course Zim is the best, were you doubting it?'

'Not one moment,' chuckled Dib.

He took the Invader's hand and, together, they waited for the outcome of the war.

* * *

_AN: Romantic Prom night is romantic. Warning: if you're expecting a full description of the last battle, you seem to forget that I hate writing action scenes. And this whole fic was a long action scene. So, nope. On to chapter 11!_


	11. The Voting of the Doomed

_AN: Last chapter? Who would have thought?_

* * *

**Chapter 11- The voting of the Doomed**

* * *

'_People of Irk, it is with great humility that I speak to you today, whoever and wherever you are. My name is Skoodge._

_I was, until recently, an Invader serving the Tallests and their expansionist goals. I was formed in the best teaching facilities to serve the greatness of the Empire. But the Empire was built on shaky grounds and could not go on using such ways. I am speaking of oppression, my friends. Our glorious Empire was built on the sweat of our more unfortunate members, millions of Irkens like you and I, who never had the chance to rise above the more menial tasks._

_It is to stop such an injustice that we took arms against our own leaders, to change the status quo and to reclaim the freedom of choice, the freedom of greatness there is inside of each and every Irken of the Empire. We rose as one to fight for you, dear brothers and sisters or Irk, no matter your height._

_I want to announce that we took control of the Massive and that Tallests Red and Purple will no longer rule us. They are still alive, but currently held prisoner until a suitable place is found for them under the new era._

_I am also glad to tell you that, once hostilities are resolved all over the Empire, we shall hold our first elections ever to determine the new leader of this era or equality. Although I will not be a candidate- '_

'_Yes, you will.'_

'…_It seems lady Tak, my press associate, has decided that I shall run for leadership. Well, you heard it here first, my friends. But don't let that stop you from making an educated choice!'_

'_Vote Skoodge or we'll gut you.'_

'…_Thank you, Sizz-Lor, for your support._

_As I was saying, we welcome now a new age. This will need work and effort to rethink out habits. I ask for you that you rise above height discrimination and that you embrace your fellow Irkens as the brothers and sisters we all are. Together, we shall rise as one and restore the glory of our Empire. _

_I wish to salute every single Irken who fought for our rights, and I wish to salute you, my Irken brothers and sisters, from the tallest to the smallest._

_Skoodge out.'_

Silence was restored once again on the Squeaky's bridge, and Skoodge face disappeared from the main screen. It came back to its usual display of stars and galaxies.

'That was inspiring,' commented Bass, a raised antenna. 'I'll probably vote for him. But then, all the other candidates are utter idiots.'

'Skoodge will probably win, which is probably for the best,' commented Taty.

'Captain, please hold still, I'm not done with your cheek…' muttered Kinn.

The orange-eyed scientist was trying to reach the Captain's face with a cell rejuvenating device, but Taty kept pacing around the Bridge, a frown marring her features.

'Worried, Captain?' asked Bass, bandaging his own wounds.

'Preoccupied,' she corrected, ignoring the bleeding gash on her cheek or the limp to her gait. 'There are uncertain times ahead of us.'

'Yeah, but we won,' corrected the mercenary.

'This is what scares me. I doubt they'll allow us to keep our exploring mission, since the Invasion program is suspended. We will probably be enrolled in the efforts to regain control of troublesome planets.'

'I thought we made peace with Vort and the Screw-heads?'

'Yes, but Judgmentia refuses to acknowledge Skoddge's authority and wants the release of the Tallests. There's probably going to be more trouble.'

'Oh well, Skoodge said we could decide to fight or not, and there's plenty more people wanting to join his ranks now that we've won. I think we deserve some vacation time.'

'My Captain…' whined Kinn. 'If I don't close this gash, it'll leave a nasty scar.'

'Let it scar, it'll look impressive,' said Taty in a rare good humor. 'Right, Miik?'

The pilot stayed silent and did not look at the Captain. Taty narrowed her eyes and lost her good mood. Miik had avoided talking or even crossing her eye since they came on board, and was shutting herself behind a wall of silence incongruous with her usual angry disposition.

'Just go take care of the others, Kinn, this will stop bleeding eventually.'

'I already took care of Blo, Miik refuses to let me near with any medical equipment and Bass is taking care of his own wounds like a true warrior, or at least that's what he claims. There's just you, Captain.'

'Just go back to your quarters, then.'

'I can't go there!' she squealed. '_They're_ there! I refuse to approach the area!'

'Surely they can't be that bad?'

'I can't even go in the lab, I can hear them! THE WALLS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SOUNDPROOF!'

'What made you offer your quarters anyway?'  
'A brief moment of insanity? I don't know, Captain! Zim set foot on the ship and he asked where the neared bed was, and like a stupid littke smeet I had to say mine and point and now they're busy doing Irk knows what and I'll have to burn my sheets and place the ashes in a biohazard disposable bin! The wall they're against is adjacent to my lab and now I'll have to recalibrate all the instruments! And they haven't stopped FOR THE LAST FIVE HOURS, MY CAPTAIN!'

They all stared at the hysteric scientist, now pulling at her own wiggly antennas out of frustration. Taty held up her hands in a peaceful gesture.

'Breathe, Kinn. They'll have to tire down eventually, human stamina is weaker, they have to sleep someday.'

'What about my sheets?' she whined.

'Lost cause, burn them,' commented Bass.

'You'll regain use of your quarters when we reach Earth, then we'll help disinfecting them, alright?'

'But what will disinfect our memories from the knowledge?' muttered Bass. Then, louder: 'Hey Kinn, I thought you'd be the first one to be glad they're going at it on your bed, with your obvious and inappropriate crush on Dib and all?'

'I don't have a crush on Dib! I have a boyfriend, or a maybe boyfriend, or- whatever, I received a transmission from Seven and he asked me out on a date, so you know!'

'A date with the Vortian? There may still be hope for you, Orangey,' saluted Bass. 'As long as you don't mess it up…'

'What do you mean by messing up?' panicked Kinn.

'Oh, I don't know, by saying the wrong things or wearing the wrong clothes…'

Taty observed Kinn's rising panic and Bass gleeful torture and decided to let them at it. She walked to the pilot chair and placed a hand on the headrest.

'Come,' she ordered.

Miik lowered her antennas, in defeat or anger, Taty wouldn't know from that angle. The pilot placed the ship on automatic, stood up and exited the bridge without looking at her captain or her crewmates. Taty followed her to their quarters, where she closed the doors.

'What is it, with you? I thought Kinn's drugs had worn off after all this time.'

'They have. There's nothing wrong, Captain.'

'It's Captain, now? In our quarters?'

'I don't want to talk about this-'

'You haven't spoken a word to me since the pak thing. Has Kinn messed something in there?'

'The pak is fine. That idiot and that Vortian did a good job.'

'Then what is it – Look at me! Why won't you even look at me?'

Miik lifted her eyes, and in them, Taty saw a maelstrom of emotion deeper than anything the small pilot was used to display. There was anger, yes, of course, but there was also pain and resentment. Directed at her.

'Miik, what have I done?' asked Taty, suddenly unsure.

'What- you ask what you've done?' screeched Miik, more like herself. 'You took out your pak for me, that's what you did!'

'Of course I did, you foolish thing! Don't you see I didn't have a choice?'

'And that's what I can't stand!' yelled Miik. 'I can't stand the fact that you just HAVE to risk yourself for me!'

'I marked you as mine!' yelled back Taty. 'I will not let you die, not if I can do anything about it!'

'And you still don't get it!'

'What is there to get?'

'I didn't want this! I didn't ask for you to risk your life like that! I can't stand the weight of this, I can't stand the guilt!'

'You have no control over my actions, and if I want to risk my life for yours, you'll deal with it!'

'There are still some things I can control,' snapped Miik before leaving the room, her heavy boots stomping the metallic floor.

Taty stood there a long moment, a cold feeling twisting her squeedly-spooch.

* * *

'Damn you, relentless alien, we humans have a refractory period, you know?'

'Lies, you're supposed to be a ball of hormones like any teenage boy your age!'

'Just give me five minutes, alright?'

'Counting.'

Dib smirked lazily. He was draped over Zim, his youthful stamina being tested by a perpetually sugar-high alien fused with alien technology. Zim started playing with the rebellious lock of hair at the top of his head, like he had the habit to do when he was waiting for the human to stop feeling cuddly.

'I hope we didn't terrorize the Squeaky crew too much,' mumbled Dib against Zim's chest. 'I feel we got louder at the end.'

'Meh, let them appreciate the amazing powers of Zim on your vocalizations.'

'You're not really silent either, Mister.'

'You're louder. You're always loud. Loud human.'

'So sayeth the one who laughs insanely at every other opportunity, including breakfast.'

'Bacon is hilarious.'

'I just feel bad for little Kinn, we kinda hijacked her bed.'

'Stop worrying, Dib-prat, and start getting ready for another round.'

'Can't we just cuddle a bit?'  
'If you start acting like a human female I will leave you in a ditch.'

'And what, start pursuing other unsuspecting human boys to mark them with your seal of Irken property? What about Keef?'

'Please don't make me retch, I'll throw you off the bed, insufferable thing. See? I'm nauseous, not feeling cuddly at all.'

Dib lazily lifted a hand and twisted an antenna around his fingers. Instantly, the Invader acquired the consistency of Jell-O. They stayed like that a moment, but Dib started frowning once again.

'Less frowning, more petting,' muttered Zim. 'I can hear you think thinky-thoughts, not productive to cuddling at all.'

'It's just… we never talked about that fight we had,' mumbled the human. 'Hi Skool is over now, what are we going to do come September?'

'You want to speak about this NOW?'

'You're all mellow and stationary, I can't pass the chance.'

'Fine, you're such a female human. You still want to go to that Huston skool place? Far away from town and from Zim?'

'Not exactly to get far away from you, but I still think it's a great opportunity-'

'Meh, alright. Go to your Huston skool.'

'…Are you leaving me?'

'What? Of course not! Why would you think such a thing?'

'You just told me to go, I thought-'

'Dib-thingie, stop thinking before it hurts your humongous head. You will go, and Zim will go too, probably get enrolled too and laugh at the human's idea of technology.'

'You want to come to Huston with me?'

'It'll take me five to ten minutes to hack the files, but yes, I'll do it.'

He soon had a lapful of enthusiastic human boy kissing the breath out of him. When they finally parted, Dib was his enthusiastic chatterbox self.

'I can't believe you're coming with me, you're so great! And don't laugh at the technology, just look at their installations, I'm sure even you will manage to be challenged by their labs, they have a particle accelerator I've been dying to get my hands on, I heard if you calibrate it just right, you can open a doorway to another dimension, I've been planning to solve the mysteries of the room with a moose once and for all and maybe publish a scientific article or win the Nobel prize, I know they don't have a Nobel for paranormal science but they'll make one for me once I manage this, oh I can't wait! And they have student housing, we can share a room so we can place all our equipment without the need to hide it constantly, I'm sure we can hack the records to give us a double bed, it'll be comfy-'

'Foolishness, Dib-pet, I'm not sharing any housing space with acne covered science geeks. I'll just uproot the base and place the house in a new location.'

'…You can do that?'

'Yes, of course. I'll just take care to place it near more important power lines so we can have access to more energy than what I've been taking from my stupid neighborhood. Imagine the experiments we can make with that! We can make our own particle accelerator, big enough to put the Large Hadron Collider to shame!'

'…We?'

'Or I'll give you an underground lab or two if you don't want to share, stupid human,' huffed Zim.

'You want me to move in with you?' asked Dib in wonderment.

'Yeeeeeeees?' answered Zim as if it were evident.

This time, it was Dib who resumed their activities.

* * *

The rest of the trip went by without any trouble, if one doesn't count Kinn's distress at the loss of her bed sheets. Don't be too sad for her, she spent the whole time in front of a communication console, talking science with 777 and keeping a long stream of 'No, _you _hang up first' cluttering the frequencies.

Dib and Zim only extricated themselves from bed when Bass came to bang at the door to announce they were back on Earth. The small Irken had pulled the short straw and looked like he'd rather bleach his own brain than be there.

The Squeaky landed in a park not far from both Zim's and Dib's homes, where they first had met the Squeaky crew. The goodbyes were more subdued, since Captain Taty seemed distracted and Miik was nowhere to be seen. Kinn wished them both good luck but refused to hug Dib this time, muttering about germs and disgusting fluids. Bass saluted them lazily, a smirk on his face, and Blo nodded at them.

Both human and alien watched the ship soar up and disappear in the sky. They went home, hand in hand, making plans for the next great adventure that was College life.

'Captain, knock-knock?' asked Kinn, passing her head through the half-opened door to the Captain's quarters.

'Kinn,' acknowledged the Captain without any trace of emotion. She was sitting on her bed, clutching an electronic pad.

'Err, is everything okay? You've been in there since we left Earth, and I was wondering if you were eating with us?'

'I am not hungry.'

'Well, okay then… Erm, Bass was trying to reach you earlier, but you weren't answering and Blo told him to drop it and leave you alone but, it's kinda important? He says the Star Cruiser is missing. That's important, right?'

'Yes. I am aware.'

Kinn lowered her antennas, not knowing what to do with her Captain in such a weird state. She frowned at the state of the room. There used to be deadly sharp weapons on the walls, belonging to Miik. The pilot's spare uniforms seemed to have disappeared, also. Actually, half the room was now empty, and it hadn't been for months.

'…Captain? Where is Miik?'

Taty didn't answer, just clutched the pad tighter. Kinn took a courageous step in the room, then another, then had the courage to sit next to her Captain. Taty simply held the pad and let her read the letter still displayed on the screen.

_Taty_

_I can and I will make this choice. If you can't find me, you can't die for me. _

_-Miik_

Kinn handed back the pad. She didn't find anything to say. But then, her Captain was not a person who needed or accepted kindness. She just sat there, a long while, while the Captain stared at the wall. And Taty let her.

* * *

_AN: Okay, sorry about the sad ending. I had always planned on making them break up, though (even before the girl who inspired Miik left in real life). That's the trouble with Mary-Sues, people, the people they're taken from evolve and make choices on their own, not always happily ever after ones. Oh well, if I could get through that, Taty will too, and she'll be armed and dangerous. _

_On to the Epilogue! :D_


	12. The Frycook that came from all that spac

_AN: OMG LAST PART I CAN'T BREATHE._

* * *

**Epilogue -The frycook that came from all that space**

* * *

'…but then Zim's being a pain about the redecorating, he wants to keep the living room in those colors and that horrible, horrible couch, but then, try to get GIR out of it long enough to throw it out. Not that I'd want to risk it, he'd probably murder me in my sleep. Anyway, classes started two days ago and already I'm drowning in homework, it's actually challenging for once! Zim's plans of our own particle collider are coming along great, but we've been arguing about the details, like always. And what about you?'

'The usual,' she shrugged, even though Dib couldn't see her through her speak only communicator. 'We still don't have a permanent posting, and we're making milk runs all over the galaxy. Skoodge has been hinting at giving Captain Taty command of one of the fleet's main ships.'

'Any word from Miik?'

'No, not that I know of. The Captain is feeling better, though, if you consider snappish and easily angered better than plain mopey and sad. I think she's going to take the command, just to get busy. It's going to be a shame to leave the Squeaky, but it's just not the same anymore.'

'What about you? You're going to follow her?'

'Of course, she's my Captain!' squeaked Kinn with indignation. 'Blo and Bass too, although Bass is probably doing it so he can get his claws on more firepower. We're not leaving her, not when she's angry and even less if she gets command of a warship. But I think she'll be okay, she's strong, my Captain.'

'I don't doubt it. So, what's up in your life? Any words from the Vortian?'

'Weeeeeeeeell…' she trailed off. 'I'm kinda on Foodcourtia right now? On a date… He's supposed to pick me up…'

'And you let me rant for half an hour?'

'Oh, I got so nervous that I arrived two hours early! Your call was a welcome distraction!'

Right at that moment, she spotted a pair of familiar horns above the crowd.

'Dib, gotta go, he's there!' she squeaked.

'Go get him! Have fun!'

'Bye!'

She shut the communicator off and started waving to get his attention. Soon, 777 appeared in front of her, a big smile lighting his beady black eyes.

'My dear lady Kinn!' he beamed. 'It's such a joy to see you again!'

'Aaaaw, Seven, you're too sweet!' she giggled.

'Never sweet enough for you, my dear. Shall we?' he asked, holding out his arm.

She took it, and together they found the fast food joint they wanted to try out. Shloogorgh's Flavor Monster had tripled in size since the restructuration, to accommodate for the growing number of customers. There was an impressive line-up, going on for miles. 777 and Kinn marched right up to the door, were a security Irken just let them through. Inside, it was completely crazy. Mothers with hordes or crying babies, acne ridden teenagers from all species, gelatinous looking aliens leaving a damp trail wherever they went, transparent beings digesting their food in front of everyone, children initiating food fights.

A huge figure cut through the crowd to greet them.

'So, how do you like the new look?' asked Sizz-Lor with pride.

'It is rather impressive, what you managed with the restaurant,' admitted 777. 'It is way bigger than before.'

'Yeah, had no choice, people came from every corner of the empire to eat here. Business has been incredible!'

'Ooooh can we go? Can we order?' squealed Kinn, excitedly.

'After you, my lady,' said 777.

Sizz-Lor parted them a way through the crowd and she pranced happily to the counter. She waved at the lone Irken tending the cash register. Former Tallest Red glared at her from under the huge and ugly Shloogorgh's hat.

'You can't ask me to serve them?' growled Red at Sizz-Lor. 'They were part of the rebellion who took away our power!'

Sizz-Lor only stared back, unimpressed. Red sighed and came back to Kinn.

'What are you ordering today, miss?' he grumbled. 'May I suggest a Shloogorgh's special? It's specially Schloogorghious today!'

Kinn giggled and started reading the menu. Behind her, people started getting impatient, babies cried louder, teenagers started shouting, Red started stressing out. From the kitchen, came a whine:

'Reeeeeed! What's the next order? Do I have to start another batch of fries?'

'Is that former Tallest Purple in the kitchen?' asked 777 to Sizz-Lor.

'Oh yeah. And if you're wondering about table-headed service drone Bob, former Tiniest, he's busy cleaning the bathrooms. We haven't seen him in four days.'

'I'm surprised those three haven't been executed,' admitted 777.

'Skoodge was against the notion. It was Zim who came with the idea of sending them here. Said that there were fates worse than death,' chuckled the fry-lord.

777 observed the crowd of stressed, impatient, loud, ungrateful and cheap customers lining up and had to admit that, indeed, there were fates worse than death. At the counter, Kinn was innocently analyzing every single item of the list before former Tallest Red's rising temper.

'…but then, there's a lot of sodium in fries, right? Sodium is bad, so maybe not. But curly fries are so delicious, and I've been craving them for months! Or maybe a salad, I should take a salad, I don't want to get fat. But then again, fries. Are the fries fried? I really have to watch my weight…'

Indeed, worse than death.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

_AN: FINALLY. GAWD._

_People, this is the result of more than four years of planing, writing and procrastination. Mostly procrastination. But it is DONE. LA-DI-DONE._

_I'd like to thank my sister, The Pink Terror, for helping with the initial brainstorming and planifcation. I want to thank my friend Phi for listening to my ramblings even though she never watched a single Invader Zim episode. _

_But most of all, I want to thank you, guys. I know it sounds cliché, but I'm being sincere, here. If it wasn't for you, your reviews, your fanart, your reminders, your love, I would never have gotten around to finish this. Thank you very very very much. Big hug of doom to all of you. :D_

_If you're still reading this, I love you.  
_


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